Fake(OVA)

I feel I should put my cards on the table so to speak: I know little to nothing about Fake. The extent of my knowledge is that it stars a couple of cops who are into each other. With that out of the way, how does the OVA of the series represent itself to a newcomer? Rather poorly, honestly. It's definitely interesting enough that I want to look more into it but taken by itself it's a boring story with a cast of characters that are rather obnoxious.

The story follows Dee and Ryo, two cops from New York on vacation in England when a murderer strikes. Dee is trying to get Ryo to admit feelings for him and is about as subtle as your average white guy at any given bar. Both plots seem to be staying in separate room for the most part not talking to each other. Unfortunately we're stuck in the romance plots room for most of the OVA till the murder plot comes crashing through the door because it just can't fight this feeling anymore... I'll let this metaphor go now.

We're stuck slogging through a romance plot that isn't particularly interesting because it's clear they are together already if Ryo would just admit it. Instead we getting cute kissing scenes and pussyfooting around at all other time. Meanwhile the murder plot is going on just fine without the duo and I question why they need to be here at all since Ryo's sole addition to the case is being part Japanese, in a case where Japanese people are being bumped off. Admittedly once the murder plot goes into full focus it gets mildly exciting even if it's rather simplistic.

There is a third cop that just happens to be here named Berkeley Rose and in all honesty he could have carried the whole plot and relegated the main cast to side characters since most just fulfill a minor function in the story that could be done by most people. Rose is cool, smart, and overall rather subtle. He's not fun per se to be around but compared to the raging chuckle heads that compose most of the cast he's a cut above.

The writing and humor overall are rather lackluster. The story tries to make us feel for the killer in that his daughter was murdered by Japanese tourists; and he takes it upon himself to kill every Japanese person who comes to his little hotel. Now if maybe the suspects got away with the crime then yeah I can see why you'd go that far but the men who killed his daughter were punished by the law so why go through all of this? It makes no sense and makes him into bloodthirsty monster instead of a tragic father. The humor barring one decently funny scene,that admittedly gets ruined when the gag is repeated, is stale and mostly involves yelling or poor slapstick. There are times when that style of humor work, such as Baka and Test, but here it's meh. It doesn't help that every time Dee goes into his loud voice the things he says are embarrassingly cheesy or have a bit of a sexual predator vibe.

Fake as an OVA is rather annoying but there is this niggling doubt in the back of my mind that this might be an okay manga series. Mostly so I don't have to here the poor English voice acting. Maybe the OVA is just a bad representation of the series and this could be a deep and thoughtful story that happens to feature gay men. As for the OVA, probably best just to avoid it.

Things No One Cares About: Jojo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders

I guess this is the month where I get to redact my opinions. First I'm over at Haywire realizing that I never gave Devil Survivor 2 a chance and now I'm here to take back most of my unkind thoughts about Jojo's Bizarre Adventure:Stardust Crusaders while also adding some new ones I skipped over last time. Maybe the fact that it's animated now or that I didn't binge the show like I did the manga but I enjoyed the anime more than the manga.

Like it's predecessor, Stardust Crusaders is a almost panel perfect adaption of said arc with a few events subtly changed to match up with later events of the arc. As a result it keeps the stories strengths and weaknesses mostly intact. The plot follows Jotaro and his companions as they travel to Egypt to stop DIO. Introduced in this arc of the manga are the iconic Stand powers. Basically physic abilities that can manifest in those with a strong will or in later parts surviving being pierced by a special arrow. These powers of course manifest in the cast and more or less kick off the plot in a way. The early episodes front load most of the back-story on DIO,Stands and the Jostar family; which causes the first few episodes to drag a bit especially if you've read the manga. It's also here that we run into most of the speed bumps in the story.

The first big one is the case of Holly Kujo and her inability to control her Stand. I could write a few pages on why this is stupid in the grander scheme of the series and also within in this arc. To keep it brief, Holly is portrayed as a rather strong  person yet can't seem to wield a stand. She may be a bit frailer physically but a baby and a decrepit old lady can use their Stands no problem,yet Holly can't. Probably because Jotaro needed more motivation than simply the world is in danger. To say nothing of the unfortunate implications this brings up, I'll just leave it at insulting and a waste of a perfectly good character.

The other gripe I have is that for some reason DIO 's defeat means that Holly will be free of her Stand's influence. Despite the fact that this won't affect any other Jostar Stands which spawned as a result of DIO's theft of Johnathan Jostar's body. It's almost like Holly and DIO as less characters and more motivations. The lack of real interactions with DIO outside of the final fight fails to make him anything more than a entertaining if shallow villain. He's noticeably changed since Phantom Blood,becoming much more paranoid and Genre Savvy than before However like Jotaro it doesn't make him a particular deep character.

Speaking of Jotaro, I grew to like him over the courses of parts four and six but loathed as a lead since we had more interesting characters in the group. Then I finally noticed his much more sarcastic and dry sense of humor and more subtle character development. He serves as a nice contrast to the arcs wackier villains and supporting cast. While someone like Polnareff ,the group's penultimate recruit, is more prone to rush right in and play the fool; Jotaro seems more like an annoyed mom at the others antics and it's funny to an extent. He does learn to grow closer to the people in the group as the story progresses but not people in general as evidenced by part six. He works well within the group but still comes off as a boring lead. His stand,Star Platinum, matches his blandness and versatility.

Star Platinum has precision and super strength on his side, the latter coming standard on many a Stand later down the line. While it is basic it aids in Jotaro's versatility, many of the more creative uses of the group's powers come out of his Stand. From inhaling a gas based Stand to using it to bluff a professional con man,it never feels like Star Platinum is pulling something out its butt. That is till the end and concerns my last major problem with Stardust Crusaders and spoilers for the Final DIO fight so skip this next paragraph if you want to stay in the dark.

The anime has the advantage of being able to fore shadow events more clearly and fixing a few things related to Avdol's (first) death. However the show never really explains Jotaro's ability to move during DIO's time stop that clearly. The logical extension that Jotaro can stop time himself is hinted via the ability to move during a time stop but the initial movements nor is Jotaro's flying around like DIO ever really explained. Maybe the fact that Jotaro can fly like that is meant to mirror DIO's The World and show that they are similar Stands thus time stop should be possible for Jotaro. Yeah, no it still feels like somewhat of an ass pull on Araki's part and I'm sad that it wasn't better handled this time around.

Okay back in non-spoiler land,I said I enjoyed this part yet all I've done so far is gripe. So what works in this shows favor,everything else. The group dynamics that were present in the original are played up much stronger here. Spending time with these characters drew me closer to them as they all learned to trust one another. Deaths in the manga that left me unfazed hit me hard in the anime. Both versions of this story do fall into the formula of travel some distance then have a fight. However with the anime I was going at it's pace rather than my own and it let me stand back and appreciate the story and characters. By the end of the show I was sad that this journey had to end and I had to depart from beloved friends.

The only weak link in the Jostar group is probably Kakyoin. While pulling some cool tricks off with his Stand,Hierophant Green, is put on a bus for most of season two. He finally returns for the storming of DIO's mansion. Even then it takes to the final fight to get some deeper development for him. It could have been spread out a bit akin to Iggy's development from cold jerk to loyal team member is played out. He's still a fun character that is a bit of a walking meme and brings up the idea of how growing up with a Stand might effect a person's social skills.

Everyone else is the group also brings something to the table asides from there Stands. Polnareff and Iggy bring a bit of levity to the group while examining what it means to live for others. Avdol is half of a cool old guy duo with Joseph, while serving as somewhat of a mentor to the group. A role that Jotaro would take on in part four, he's comforting to have around in a way. Joseph while not being full blown comic relief like Polnareff, is still a lovable hot blooded goof  that has some what mellowed out since Battle Tendency.What spurs these changes for him are again a whole article by itself so I'll leave it at that.

The Stands lack the more bizarre powers that later parts have but this arc was meant to ease people into the idea of Stands,hence the stats of each one. It lays does the groundwork for what Stands can do and who can wield one. This doesn't mean the Stands are boring per se, they are used in interesting ways to build some cool battles. Such as the battle against a gorilla whose Stand is the ship the characters are on.

The one major problem the 2012 anime had was pacing,squeezing about twelve volumes of material into one season is a bit difficult. However with two seasons to stretch it's legs out in Stardust Crusaders does away with most of those problems. The first season does have the aforementioned front loading problem but once it gets going it doesn't look back. The fights move at a quick clip and never out stay their welcome. The show still drips with that signature style and compliments the crazy events on screen perfectly. The voice cast works perfectly as well,everyone sounds like they should. Takehio Koyasu reprises his role as DIO playing him in a more subdued fashion while still retaining the sinister and crazy fun aspects that made him a blast in Phantom Blood.

So I come to you a more humble person,it's a bit of a painful feeling.The pain is dulled by the fact that Stardust Crusaders is better than I first thought.While it has it's flaws,the story is one that ultimately works with a colorful cast that I felt closer to than I ever have. If you're like me and lukewarm about the Stardust Crusaders section of the manga, then I encourage you to give the arc another try with this anime. If you still haven't experienced this arc then this is the best way to go about it.

Till Next Time: Stay Positive

Things No One Cares About: Odin: Starlight Mutiny

For the most part when I review any media I like to go in as blind as possible so I can get my purest impressions untarnished by the opinions of others. While this is hardly a solid rule, it is for my used bookstore purchases. Such is the case with today's feature, Odin: Starlight Mutiny,which I had never heard of. To be quite honest even had I know of this film's poor reception and the strong pedigree of it's producers; I still would have not been prepared for the true awfulness contained on this disc.

The story, if it can even be called that,is an utter mess that is littered with plot holes. Okay, I'll be nice and say that the title is indeed accurate. There is a planet called Odin and there is a mutiny on the spaceship called Starlight. Everything else like coherence and pacing are left to the winds in favor of terrible metal music and odd animation. Events seem to happen at random and there is this incessant prattling about sailors being the greatest. The sailing theme is used mostly to justify the crew acting like reckless fools.

They explain that Earth has developed space travel via laser propelled sails and the titular Starlight is unique in that it isn't reliant on such a stupid method. The technology on both sides is poorly explained and the cast is surprisingly knowledgeable about the alien technology that they've had little exposure to. Characters throw around high grade techno-babble that a person with a first grade education can tell is complete malarkey. Once the plot gets going,in a loose sense, it barrels into complete idiocy.

Apparently the Norse tales of Ragnarok were inspired by the planet Odin's destruction,yes really. These aliens made first contact ages ago and that's why we have Norse mythology, I guess. Then they made some super computer that decides organic life is useless and decides to go the genocide route on them.They blow up the MCP knock-off at the cost of a few casualties on their side and that's the end. They were clearly expecting a sequel had this movie not bombed,mostly because people realized that the latter half could have been avoided had anyone had half a brain.

The mutiny promised in the title happens due to the fact that the government called them back and they wanted to find the planet Odin. At no point is it mentioned that they wont be able to complete this mission at a later date or that they'll even be pulled from the crew. Nope they do it because they need to prove themselves. So they hijack the ship and run this dangerous mission in a ship that has the bare amount of armaments,they have to rig a few lasers to give themselves a fighting chance. Instead of going back later,better prepared against an army they know is technologically advanced with superior weapons. To say this is a stupid idea is an understatement but considering these characters this is the best they can do.

I'm not even going to mention most of the cast as they are so one note and bland that it could have been a crew of rocks and it would have made a difference. However,main character Akira is a walking example of how not to write a chracter. Our introduction to him is watching the launch of the Starlight,lamenting how he could have been on the crew had he not punched an instructor. I honestly figured he was either a minor antagonist or just a throw away character,not the hero. There is nothing wrong with a protagonist that does out of line actions provided they are justified or it's part of him growing as a character. However it isn't and his brash attitude is treated as lovable and heroic despite the fact that had he taken a minute to think about his actions; He would have realized how pointless that mutiny was,and probably avoided the needless death.

I usually don't talk to much about art anymore because I can only say it looks nice and flows well so many times,except here it doesn't. The character design is generic complementing the writing perfectly I might add. Everything glows with this weird irradiated looks, like they animated this while in Chernobyl. On the sound side, nothing works either. Many of the big set piece scenes are given this ridiculous hair metal soundtrack that doesn't work. The Japanese voice cast does as well as it can given the script, specials note to someone shouting “St. Elmo's Fire” unprovoked during a scene. I genuinly don't know if that was in the script or someone did some impromptu riffing. 

This is a movie that doesn't even know the meaning of the word “work” which is weird since this studio is responsible for the Space Battleship Yamato series. The animation is blinding to the point of almost inducing epilepsy,the soundtrack never fits, and the story  make little to no sense and hopes the techno-babble will distract you. This movie is so painfully bad I had to do three separate sittings just to be able to stomach it. Not much left to say expect don't get suckered like I did into blowing six dollars on this.

Till Next Time:Stay Positive.

Things No One Cares About:Gokusen

I'm back after battles with myself and technology to write about more shows and books that no one really cares about. So to highlight me actually doing work outside actual obligations, I'll be looking at the interesting and original: Gokusen. Oh did I say interesting and original, I meant boring and uninspired. My apologies it's been a while, I may have forgot how words works. So here are words that you may enjoy or not.

Gokusen is often touted as the Josei equivalent of Great Teacher Onizuka, I.e a tough and crazy teacher helps those that people view as unteachable. Maybe the manga does live up to this comparison,however the anime can not hold a candle to it. It's part comedy that forgot to bring the jokes and part drama that forgot to bring the engaging characters. It can't decide what it wants to do and has a hard time committing to a plot line. Which may be for the best as the plots that do happen are awful and make little sense.

The story follows new teacher Kumiko Yamaguchi,the acting head of a Yakuza family. She's teaching the students that others have given up on while also keeping her Yakuza side a secret for reasons never clearly explained. The lack of explanation of really anything in the story till way too late makes it hard to get invested. Why she doesn't want people knowing about her life is not really explained till half way through the series and even then it's rather poorly explained. Up to then we're just supposed to take her word for it that it'll be bad if she is found out. Without a sense of the consequences that an action will have it kills all tension that could possibly be there. Though it's not like she is doing a good job of hiding it with here hammy acting attempts in the dub. I think the facade she is using is an attempt at a joke on the shows part but it's less so bad its good and just bad. The plot fares no better;trying to set events up and having anything interesting going on.

The bigger plot outside the duel life aspect is about a gang called Nekomata screwing with the other Yakuza families. You'll can be forgiven for not noticing this as the episodes seem busy just meandering around doing nothing but having bad jokes and nonsensical character changes. One episode has the main group of punks decide near the end that “hey lets go to the remedial class” because the teacher waited for them. It makes sense in a way but the lack of any clear or really any visible character development muddles what it's trying to say. The boys just seem to trust her despite none of them,bar the silent but cool guy, knows what she does for them. So once that main plot comes to fruition and the boys come to her rescue it has little impact emotionally. At this point she also lets her crazier side that she's been trying to hide come out in front of them. So either she forgot that that was a plot point or they just didn't care.

The characters themselves are all rather boring and remind me of better ones. Angel Densetsu managed to take stereotypical punks and make them into likable characters that rose above the usual one note archetype. This is sadly not the case here,with every boy being defined by two traits: one unique to them such as being fat or ugly and being decently moral. They seem to be moral less because they have deep reasons for it and more because the show feels characters like that sell better. They end up coming off as less likable and more morally superior despite being massive jerks.

Kumiko and her family of thugs fair somewhat better in that they are crazy thugs but fall prey to the same problems as the school kids. They fanatical devotional to Kumiko is rather funny, providing some of the shows sparse laughs. The family gets the lions share of the character development and if her students had even this level of back story then their loyalty would actually make sense. The thugs are still pretty one note overall so and what little development Kumiko gets is all over the place. Ranging from wanting to reel her class in to letting them run wild. With the aforementioned lack of explanation it makes her or really anyone hard to care about.

So much of more mediocre elements could be forgiven if the show was actually funny but it's just not. Most of the jokes range from tired slapstick and punchlines to the just plain bizarre. Kumiko has a dog who seems to be a pitbull version of Scooby-Doo that doesn't talk yet he gets lip syncs like he's talking. It makes little sense and like most every other joke is unfunny. Also the head of the Nekomata Group looks like a cat for some reason. Also before you start that email,I'm aware of the pun they are going for. However in-universe no one else has a look like this and you think it's something at least one of the characters would comment on. Nope, there is zero explanation and the design seems to be here for the stupid pun.

Gokusen lacks anything memorable or funny about it. Calling it bad would imply that it tried something besides trying to be a poor man's Great Teacher Onizuka. It's a boring show that can't be bothered to explain itself and just faffs around for 12 episodes. Maybe this is just a poor representation of the source material that was made as a cheap cash in or maybe the manga is awful as well. I don't know,but I do know that we should probably just let this one fade into darkness of the collective unconscious and never speak of it again.  

Till Next Time: Stay Postive

Things No One Cares About:Nanana's Buried Treasure

More and more I find myself longing to have an adventure. I would like to travel places and maybe learn about myself. Then I realize I'm a socially awkward recluse who is terrified of people. So I turn to video games and anime that are about having a fun adventure instead.Wanted failed to tickle that adventuring itch so maybe Nanana's Buried Treasure will.

Nanana's Buried Treasure is part of the spring 2014 anime season. It is based on an ongoing manga/light novel series that started in 2013. It was written by Kazuma Ootorino and illustrated by Ringo Aka. Normally I'd mentioned their other works except that this is it, Nanana is their first and so far only work and what a work it is. It's a story full of twists and turns that actually make sense when you go back to look at them.

The set-up is a mismatched group of students team up to acquire ancient artifacts hidden on an island designed for just that. It grows on from that with multiple factions and this is where the show gains it's intrigue. Every character has there motivations set up and fleshed out well enough to get a feel for them. However once the first big twist happens everything other plot twist is easily figured out for those paying even the slightest bit of attention.

The cast of characters is where the show shines. Jugo works well as your lead,having all the right reactions and a very interesting back story that changes your perspective of him once revealed. He plays comic foil to Tensai, the self titled Master Detective and her cross dressing maid Daruku. They along with Nanana form a nice quartet that plays well off each other and leads to some very funny moments. The remaining cast is interesting and flesh out the events that occurred prior to the series. The cast as a whole does have a severe case of chronic backstabbing syndrome which is a given with so many different schemes and ambitions fueling the hunts. It adds an interesting dynamic as each person is trying to outwit everyone else.

The treasures that they search for are hidden in what are called ruins but function like labyrinthine puzzles that lend themselves to some very interesting visuals. The puzzles are incredibly obtuse and serves to highlight that Tensai is not all talk. It also shows just how clever the group that set these up are. This group includes Nanana so we get to see some possible hidden depths in her character. The only problem is that the ending is a clear set up for a second season. It's not a bad thing but there is no guarantee of a second season and the light novel translations are lacking.

Wrapping up, Nanana's Buried Treasure is a fun show that blends adventure with slice of life seamlessly. The characters are likable and the story sets up an interesting premise with room to expand. Those looking for a fun adventure series should definitely check it out .

Till Next Time:Stay Positive

Things No One Cares About:Slayers Premium

Time tends to change things for some people,anger subsides,relationships become deeper and most importantly opinions can change. Such is the case with the film I watched three weeks ago that I had previously watched about a year ago. When I first watched it I loathed this film and I still do but now I have found new reasons to despise it. What film caused my dull rage,it was Tales of Earthsea. Wait, no I still hate that movie.What I meant to say is Slayers Premium.

Slayers Premium was released in 2001 and would be the last animated Slayers material till 2008's Slayers Revolution. This is the second film not to actually be written by Slayers author Hajime Kanzaka,the other being the previously discussed Perfect. Perfect dealt with the lack of Kanzaka with a darker tone and decent plot. However here we are reduced to two okay jokes and a well tread plot that can't hold it's own. It is trying to hard to recreate Slayers Return...like the other films and just can't do it.

The movie's big hook was that after four films of Naga and Lina inspired antics,we were finally getting a movie involving the more recognizable cast of the TV series...and Naga. However here is where the first big problem comes up:No one except Lina and Gourry have anything to do. The trickster demon,Xellos,only role is to fill Zelgadis and Amelia on the plot,which anyone could do. Then you don't see him again till the end of the movie. Zelgadis and Amelia are both disabled by a ridiculous curse before they can do anything. Then forget that they are an accomplished swordsman and pugilist respectively. It makes me question while we are even dealing with these three when clearly the movie wants to focus on Lina and Gourry.

The second main sticking point for me was the villain and this is where I've softened up on the film some. When I first watched this I derided him as an awful gay stereotype who's only joke was that he was swishy. However seeing him again I really don't get that vibe,and realized I should hate him for his true crime:being unfunny. For all I know the joke could be that he talks sort of weird and in certain voices that can be a good joke. However here it's not so the few scenes we get with him are a slog. On the other hand he is the indirect cause of two funny jokes but that is quickly forgotten because he's also responsible for making this movie longer.

His main plan is cursing everybody to talk in the octopus language to cause fear and confusion. The language disables magic because of the language barrier,and of course due to plot convince Lina gets hit by this right before she can let off a plot ending Dragon Slave. So we get to pad this movie's already short thirty minute run time just to recreate the ending to Return sans a ridiculous golem battle. Then once we get to the required big monster battle it's literately Lina standing behind a big rock and casting Dragon Slave.

Also without Kanzaka we get awful character interactions. Lina and Gourry play off each other like wet paper with Gourry lacking dialogue to even interact with Lina for the most of the movie other than to annoy her. Amelia and Zelgadis have been sort of shipped together in the main series and are traveling together here but lack the sweetness of the relationship. Zelgadis is more of a grumpy disapproving dad which is sort of in character but does feel out of place in his interactions with Amelia. The whole cast interacts like casual acquaintances rather than a group of traveling companions that has defeated cosmic horrors.

I guess I'll stop alluding to my main problem and just say it,this movie is not funny. Not many of the jokes work and those that do are few and far between. The original characters aren't entertaining,which is something even Great managed to get right. As I've said numerous times if Slayers isn't funny then I have to resort to looking at the plot and that is something you don't want. Gorgeous really did take Return's plot but still had funny jokes that were all it's own. This one takes the plot and foolishly thinks that it's a great plot. Even with all the problems Hourglass of Falces had it at least gave everyone an equal part in its' awfulness.

As I stated at the beginning time can change opinions. I do have more an appreciation for Perfect upon re watch. However time has allowed my hate for this film to grow and find more problems. The pacing is horrendous,the characters are either useless,unfunny or both and the plot is stale. The weirdly infuriating part of the whole mess asides from the film itself is the box art. The movie box set has art from this splashed all over it like this was the creme of the crop.Yes, I realize how petty this is but it bugs me.

Till next time Stay Positive

Things No One Cares About:Golden Time

As a little girl I watched quite a few romantic comedies because I really like to laugh and see attractive people hook up. In fact those were the only movies I did watch and didn't know there were other movies. For the longest time I genuinely thought that that was just how all movies played out. I was not a bright girl,not that that has changed much. I'll admit due to my dwindling attention span I really don't watch that many movies anymore. Instead I've turned slightly to more romance slice of life shows,one I actually managed to finish lately.

Golden Time is a series of Light Novels by Yuyuko Takemiya turned anime that aired last fall. She is probably better known for Toradora!, a series that I have attempted to get into multiple times and failed. I'll probably try again later but that has nothing to do with Golden Time. Instead this was a show that I had no trouble getting into it just had a hard time staying in there. It is a wonderful show but some elements are just acting like a errant rabbit in the punch bowl. Ruining everyone's good time and possibly giving some people tularemia.

The plot is split into four short arcs that all focus on the main relationship between Koko Kaga and Tada Banri. This is the main factor that makes this show really work. The two leads have amazing chemistry and their relationship feels natural. The show follows them from their first meeting as they evolve from friends to lovers back to friends then finally back to lovers. It helps that on their own they are interesting characters. Koko is a childish spoiled rich girl trying to find her own identity after having her delusional life long dream shattered. It makes her a mess of neuroses that is compelling to watch. For the most part the first half of the show is mostly about her but slowly becomes more focused on Banri which is a double edged sword.

On one hand Banri is great character,a very outgoing guy who is very quick witted. His ability to turn a situation is marvelous and is a great lead to follow. However as the show focuses more on him and his problems he brings with him the real sticking point that drags down the show but more on that shortly. Like Koko he is trying to find himself in a way though to an extent he already has. He has lost his old personality due to an accident that wiped his memories before that time. Fortunately we do meet him about a year after the accident so he's trying to live his life and doesn't bemoan the loss of memory. Though it does start becoming a major plot point after the second arc as we get more into his head. It really doesn’t get tiresome as it's really just part of him and not his defining characteristic.

With the amnesia we have a terrible attempt at symbolism in the form of Ghost Banri. At first it seems like a metaphor for his past memories being there and he just can't see them. That actually wouldn't be that bad but it doesn't stop there. The show treats him like a supernatural entity that can mess with reality. A major plot point of the second arc is him ultimately pushing his past away through rejection of his childhood friend,Linda. At this point the Ghost decides he is going to start messing with Banri with bad luck. How he has this “power” is never explained nor is he himself really explained. That's the problem the show has absolutely no other real supernatural elements,it's a straight up well written romcom.

If he'd been there in the first few episodes it might have been okay. However I am just cruising along enjoying a great show then this guy just shows up out of no where. Look at Vision of Escalowne,yes it started in a fantasy world but the mecha elements were introduced as we were learning about the world. Therefore when the mechs do show up,its not as jarring because we as the viewer are still learning about the world. Here we are firmly established in modern Japan and by the time Ghosty here has shown up the setting is too well established.

Every time he shows up,it just brings to the attention how out of place he is and how silly he is. He even manages to screw up the finale as apparently Linda can see him and talks to him whilst Banri and apparently every other past Banri all hang out. Also don't think I do not get the symbolism of the scene nor Ghost Banri as a whole. It is just really poorly explained concept that seems unsure if the ghost is supernatural or symbolic and he just sort of stays in narrative limbo. Okay let's move on to something else before I take up another paragraph on this stupid concept.

The rest of the core cast is fairly well developed for the screen time the have and provided many little comedy moments. Koko's childhood friend,Mitsuo, goes through a minor arc as he too struggles with who he is and what he wants to do. Identity and purpose is a major theme of the story and quite a few characters are setting out to establish one. This is helped that the characters are in college, a classic time where people tend to do some soul searching. Some of the characters has a good idea of what they want to do,while others like Koko are trying their hardest to find that purpose. Special mention to 2-D Kun for just being a great comedic straight man and bitter single guy. He starts out as a minor character but really comes into his own by the show's second half.

The story like I said has four arcs that each play with a facet of the Koko/Banri paring. We start out as they get to know each other,moving on to a shake up with Banri's past that ends the first half on a solem/hopeful note. The second half delves into both of them deciding to really confront their pasts and change with the final arc giving them the final shake up as Banri's memories return and push his new ones out. The arcs do add a different facet to the central relationship and and each new hardship makes me want to see them succeed even more.

The story as a whole flows along at a good pace and despite my aforementioned ghostly grievances is very well written. It does tend to use you typical romantic comedy tropes albeit sparingly and they never really get in the way. A few late game concepts are established in a way that proves that the author does know what she is doing. Near the end there are just some scenes that are overflowing with such raw emotion that it gives you the chills. Even the minor relationships such as Linda/Mitsuo and Koko's friendship with Oka progress in a natural way.

This was honestly one of the few shows I have followed through the last two seasons outside of D-Frag,Megane-bu and Diabolik Lovers. Sorry Kill la Kill fans,I'll get around to that show...eventually. It really is a good show but that Ghost does hold it back from being great. Hell it managed to derail half this review due to it's stupidity. If your in the mood for some romance/comedy then you could do much worse plus you get a couple of nice opening songs.

Till next time:Stay Positive

Allie WInters and the News

So,it's been a few months since we've talked heart to heart like this.If all of my frequent readers want to gather around(all 3 of you) we'll talk about the goings on and by talk I mean tell you.

First of and the biggest part of this update is some news I have been sitting on since last month. I've been contacted and offered a position with Haywire Magazine as a columnist.I'd explain what that is and who they are but I'm I can't do it justice so I'll let it speak for itself.I'll be taking over for the extremely talented Zachary Brictson and his column Off the Grid. There I'll be talking about newer games that strike my fancy. My first column for them will be up in the coming weeks so in the meantime check out the other excellent writers,so you can actually see good writing in action.

What does this mean to you besides my pointless bragging,nothing really.This blog has never been one that is known a consistent schedule and actually having deadlines will not effect this blogs schedule more so than my own issues usually due.While I will try to get back onto a more stable release schedule,I make no promises.Speaking of broken promises, lets move on to a little bit of what is coming up in the next few weeks.

I''ll admit I haven't really kept up with the latest anime season mostly due to laziness and doing other activities besides watching anime.One of the few shows I have kept up with is Golden Time which like most shows of this season are just now finishing up,so be looking for a post on that sometime next week.Back in the ancient past of last November, I did an unofficial Slayers month. I did not nor am I really still calling it that just due to the goofy failure of Jojo month last June. However I did have a point to it in that I wanted to you to see how the Slayers movie line progressed,so we all know where they stood when the final movie,Premium, was released.Since I finally talked about Gorgeous after Great just drained me completely with its' mediocrity,I figured it is a good a time as any to dive in to the train wreak that is Premium.Again look for that in the next couple of weeks

As for the random post on Conception 2,that was a short entry for an Atlus USA Contest hence it not being labeled like most of my other entries are. Not much else to say about that but I will probably review the full game when it comes out either here or at Haywire next month.

TL:DR
-I'm going to be writing for Haywire Magazine
-Golden Time next week
-Slayers Premium the following week
-I wrote a contest piece and did not win
-Huey Lewis please don't sue 

Till next time Stay Positive

Thnigs No One Cares About:Slayers Gorgeous

I guess it's been a while since we've talked about Slayers...or really anything for that matter. I'd make an excuse but eh I got nothing. Lets change that and talk about Slayers Return 2 or as the kids call it,Slayers Gorgeous. It was released in 1998 almost a year to the day after the forgettable Slayers Great and the first one that wasn't released alongside an anime season but was the last part of the prequel series to the main series. I'm going to get the bad out of the way first so I can actually say nice things about this movie.

The movie is a really a point for point retread of Return,right down to the the plot being hijacked by a monster that the villain can't control. It attempts the same twist that Return had,with it's darker opening The editing and color palate being very similar with their attempts to mislead you into thinking this might be a bit serious. Hell it throws in a callback to the bizarre golem scene from Return as well. However you know what the film is still funny.

Upon my last re watch I really did start noticing the above mentioned gripes but it does not matter because again it is still hilarious and actually does add a few new things in to the mix. As I have said numerous times Slayers plots tend to be average and more a medium for the comedy. Thus they tend to fall into a sort of template that works for them. See the anime having clearly defined arcs where Lina and co have build up to one villain. There is nothing wrong with that,it's a solid foundation that the comedy builds the house on. When the story tries to get more serious the harder we have to look at the foundation and realized that it is made of sand, I.e Hourglass of Falces. So Returns had a stable plot and structure that worked. Gorgeous realizes this and use that structure to tell a fun story with a breezy pace.

The only real problem I do have with it borrowing Return's structure is that final part of the movie with the aforementioned hijacking. The villain seems to be there because I guess the director had some scenes to foreshadow him and it would look awful silly if they didn't do anything with them. There are no really good jokes in the big battle and the guy is just not that unlikable that I want to see him defeated. You really could have cut these scenes and lost nothing outside of showing how well Naga and Lina can work together. Even then that could have been demonstrated better without those scenes

Through out the series Naga and Lina have had a volatile yet trusting relationship and while Return played with it a little it was tame compared to here. Their own relationships is almost central to the plot as they go from fire forged comrades to bitter enemies at the drop of a coin. They are both greedy as all get out and this fact does lead to them choosing sides for no other reason than to fatten their own purse. However as much as they are constantly trying to one up the other they can pull their act together to fell a mutual enemy. If only to have go right back to quibbling a moment later.

Admittedly they did try something like this in Great as well but there their own conflicts took a back seat to the abysmal main conflict and their big showdown was one of the most boring thing ever animated. Here the main conflict is more of a free standing joke on dragons while Lina and Naga are just trying to one up each other and get paid to do so. It's honestly pretty funny that Naga joins the bratty princess just to teach her how to laugh more arrogantly.

The comedy does borrow slightly from Return with it's misleading seriousness but goes on to rely on smaller twists with pratfalls and some great continuity jokes. It has great comedic timing and I was laughing quite often. It does lack the big comedic set-pieces the Return had but makes up for it with it's mythology gags and pratfalls that you never really notice the lack of the former

Overall this is not a bad movie by any means it is very entertaining and well paced. This is probably the best portrayal of the Naga/Lina relationship and I'd place it up there with Return. Yes,maybe I will marry Return,what's it to you. Definitely worth checking out if you need a laugh.

Till next time: Stay Positive.

Things No One Cares About:Diabolik Lovers

As most are aware,vampires have taken a turn for the romantic in recent years due to books like Twilight and Vampire Knight. Becoming beautiful creatures that are more focused on protecting a boring girl rather than whatever it is vampires regularly do. Maybe abduct ladies and give orphans a motif. Either way times have changed and vampires have changed. Diabolik Lovers knows this and wants the audience to regret ever having played into them.

Diabolik Lovers is brutal and sicking show that aired during the 2013 Fall anime season. Taking the current vampire trends and tropes and turning them on their head. Using your typical reverse harem plot and turning it into an unwanted harem in the worst way. It also manages to use the vampires more sexual connections to delve into the psychology of an abusive relationship. It all forms this wonderfully disturbing show that is not for the feint of heart.

The anime is based of the visual novel of the same name and since I can't really read Japanese I have no idea how faithful the adaptation is nor do I care. The story follows a young girl named Yui who goes to live with the Sakamaki brothers due to her father's job. She learns that they are vampires and then some terrible things happen to her. Noting even view her as a person but treating her as an object for their amusement.

The official synopsis that is given for this series honestly makes it sound completely ridiculous and it's honestly half the reason I watched it:for cheap laughs. Taking the plot at face value it is fairly silly with a heavy dose of the Grand Theft Me trope but does have equal amounts of foreshadowing so it's not out of nowhere. That is okay because while Slayer's plots are a vehicle for the comedy here it's a vehicle for the horrors of the cycle of abuse. Before we go any further lets' explain the cycle of abusive just so we are on the same page.

The Cycle of abuse is a four step model developed by Lenore Walker back in the 1970's that describes the nature of an abusive relationship. The first step is tension building,which is the lead up to the actual abusive outburst. Here the victim will try to change there behavior to prevent an outburst. The acting out phase is just that. Then there is the reconciliation phase which is where we see the I can change routine most often. It can also be where we see just flat out ignoring of the incident. Finally we go into the calm phase where the relationship normalizes before going back into tension building. It's a vicious cycle that can go on for years due to the hope of things getting better.

Our main character Yui is constantly trying to change her actions to keep one of the six brothers at peace and it almost always fails. The brothers attack her through insults and placing blame on her. Sooner or later they move to the acting out phase which is usually the sucking of her blood in increasingly sexual ways. Often implying that she likes it just to hurt her even more. After that they move right into disregarding the incident and throwing her aside. After that she normalizes for about half an episode and gets drawn right back in.

It is sicking to see it happen so many times yet Yui won't do anything about it due to fear for her own life. Again something that is probably a fear of many abuse victims and it can keep them in the relationship. She has a chance to escape about mid way through the series but stays due to a hope that things will get better if a certain mystery is solved. This mystery for the most part does remain a mystery due to lack of explanation. On the flip side of that all the boys are given a reason for why they are so abusive that stems back to Coredlia, one of their fathers three wives. It doesn't make what they do acceptable but again it shows how the abused can become the abuser.

As the show progress and we learn the above mentioned reasons for the abuse it,the plot slowly moves into confronting this behavior by having the boys work through their mommy issues. It helps keep the plot watchable because again the plot is pretty silly. Once they are free of these past issues they are able to finally move on. The final part also implies that Yui has become a vampire and now the boys actual do view her as a person. This signals the end of the abuse and maybe some happiness for all involved.

The above ending happens about halfway through the episode then the credits roll. After that is each guy telling her why they should pick him. Maybe that's how it happened in the game but here it's a little jarring. This is a show that for the most part avoided feeling like a visual novel. Some adaptions like Clannad and Stein's Gate had the feeling of going through routes however here that's not present. It made the story feel more organic and flow better. However this scene just sort of throws a monkey wrench into that and feels forced.

The six boys themselves all have a  personality and abuse style that is fleshed out well enough given the shows fairly short run time(fifteen minutes per episode for twelve episodes). Ayato is sort of pushed to be the be true pairing as he does show the most actual interest in Yui. Tending to favor insults about appearance and displays of power . Laito uses the feeling of being watched/stalked to keep her in check and continually refers to her as Bitch-chan. The more childish Kanato has temper tantrums and tries to twist Yui's kind nature into something sinister. The two oldest brothers Reiji and Shu are usually too busy to outright abuse her as they save their hate for each other. They still use her if for nothing else to destroy her sense of what little safety she has. Suburu is the kindest of the brothers and really doesn't due much to her due to being more of a broken person.

Their own back stories are pretty sparse told through mini-flashbacks and one odd time travel style episode. They have just enough characterization to give them some distinction but not truly enough to make them the complex characters they could be. Maybe given a little more time it could work out but as it stands they are just average characters.

The animations is a more traditional Gothic look that heightens the fear and anxiety that the script is playing out. The main mansion has a very old feel that invokes your more traditional vampire tropes to show that these are not your daughter's vampires but something more sinister. All the boys are impossibly good looking and this is what makes the knife twist so deep when they start being malicious and harmful to Yui(also impossibly good looking). The music is mostly piano pieces written by a drunk Danny Elfman and one guy laying down smooth bass guitar tracks at all other times. None of it's really bad but the reuse of music gets a little grating when it is not that good to begin with. The opening is kind a of a guilty pleasure in it pure cheese factor.

So who is this series for:honestly it is hard to tell . People who have been in that kind of relationship probably don't wanna watch it and the content is going to be to graphic for the shojo audience. It's more for the crowd who is sick of seeing vampire romanticized to such a ridiculous degree,those who want to see the cycle of abuse in action or if you are like me and on occasion like to feel slimy while watching a show. If you fall into any of those categories then it is definitely worth your time.

Also sorry for the delay on this one.The series ended this past Tuesday and the last couple days have been hectic so I've been a little behind...sorry.

Till next time: Stay Positive

 

Things No One Cares About: Slayers Great

I was honestly planing to do this entire review as Tony the Tiger but that would be stretching a joke too far, even for me. Also I'm not a giant orange tiger...anymore. Though I'm not really sure that would make talking about this movie anymore interesting anyway. Sorry to play my hand so quickly, but that's all I can say about this film. There is nothing to rave about or get properly annoyed at it's just sort of there.

Let's talk background in hope of reaching an arbitrary word count of lets say:648. Slayers Great came out in 1997 alongside the third and for a while final season of the anime. Slayers Perfect had it's weird atmosphere and mood going for it. While Return was more of a return(I'll be here all week) to a more humorous story with better pacing. This one has no such thing instead trying to mix the two previous films and creating a portal to the mediocre dimension.

The story is serviceable with a slant towards the serious but has no weight to it. Yeah the plot in Return was bog-standard but it still had me invested in it. Here the plot is resolved in a pretty anti-climatic way and I never really felt like anyone was in any danger to begin with. The first half of the movie goes towards building up to the golem battle with a few interesting moments here and there Then the climatic golems battle takes up the rest of the short run time and is just ungodly boring outside of a few decent sight gags. It feels slow and plodding despite being billed as a big exciting battle to decide the fate of the town.

The whole production just doesn't really know where it wants to go trying to keep the moody tones  of Perfect and the more comedic twists of Return. However it just doesn't have a big comedic set piece to make that leap and just sort of coasts by with mediocre humor. Plus the ending just sort of happens with very little accomplished letting the plot be resolved fully in the credits.

The comedy here is really hit and miss lacking the true laugh out loud moments that some of the other movies possess. The first half more relies on the dialogue and putting the one-shot female character through the ringer and it does elicit a chuckle here and there. The second half consist of goofy reaction shots and some decent sight gags that both become stale after the first five minutes. If the kept up the female character's despairing then maybe...no it still wouldn't help the second half. Again nothing truly unfunny but nothing great either.

Lina and Naga as characters are in rare form this movie and it does play up how volatile their relationship actually is and it actually drives a majority of the plot. Too bad this is not a plot worth piloting as they'll have to wait till Gorgeous to do it better. It does play on some more subtle characters traits for Naga such as her talent for golems. The new characters are actually pretty funny with at least one or two good lines and as mentioned the female leads despairing is great. The villains are weird and ineffective but less in a funny look how stupid they are way and more they were never a credible threat to begin with way. They play out like a watered down version of the villains from the Sorcerer of Atlus story albeit lacking a third villain that plays them for chumps.

I am just going to skip being witty and say don't bother with this one. It's not that funny nor that interesting. This was a struggle to talk about and probably a struggle to read. I'll see you next time for probably Slayers Gorgeous or maybe Diabolik Lovers.

Things No One Cares About:Slayers Return

After the success of the first season of Slayers in 1995,we had the not without it's merits Slayers Perfect. A very different beast form the relativity lighter TV adaption that played with tone and atmosphere. A year later and we have the second season known as NEXT and it too had a movie to accompany it:Slayers Return. Like NEXT,Return takes what was a pretty good predecessor and builds a product that blows it out of the water. Everything works,my problems with Perfect are washed away,and it's insanely funny.

Return is almost a pure comedy compared to Perfect and even when things get serious the film is still laughing. It's keeping up Slayers usual schtick of parodying fantasy cliches and anachronisms while taking the piss out of Perfect as well. It takes a one core joke:What if the villains were highly incompetent and runs with it. Admittedly most Slayers villains that aren't major ones use this joke. However here it's taken up to eleven and they really do expand on how bone headed evil can be. Even the super weapon that gets awakened half way through is single minded and stupid. If for nothing else to poke fun at the fantasy genre's high regard for elves as peaceful and wise.

They also have some subtle jabs at hero tropes with only the protagonists being anywhere near competent. The townspeople hold there own against mercenaries,who are slightly competent due to them not being really evil. It takes the main villain doing a face heel turn to make him even close to useful.In the end it even subverts his side switching for a joke. The whole set up leads to quite a few big funny set pieces that I will not spoil but are up there with some of the funniest Slayers moments.

The plot is pretty typical concerning aforementioned super weapon,Naga and Lina's failed attempt to stop it's revival and failing that destroying the beast. It's noting special but most Slayers plots aren't really that ground breaking anyway. The plot is more a backdrop to the comedy and as mentioned above that's where the movie and series in general shine. Perfect took itself a bit more serious and suffered for it with a plot holes. Return keeps the plot simple and benefits greatly for it. I'll admit that it still gives no real explanation for who Naga is and why she's with Lina but even that gets a lampshade hung so it's all good.

This time around editing is much smoother and even gets in on the jokes with some very clever misdirection that leads to a hilarious reveal. The film is shorter and moves at a faster clip which is fine because Perfect did faff about a bit before really getting to the main plot. Gone are random scene ends and replaced with smooth transitions and a much lighter color pallet. It feels more like a Slayers movie,something Perfect didn't quite feel like.

In the end is this movie worth your time:Oh hell yes it is. A vastly improved sequel released alongside a vastly improved second season. Highly recommended for anybody who wants a great comedy. As a side note this is the first of the films to have the author,Hajime Kanzaka, write it. I'd say more on that but that's another review.

Till Next Time:Stay Positive

Things No One Cares about:Slayers Perfect

A couple of years back I finally watched Slayers at the behest of a friend and I was fine with it for the most part. After that I watched season two and was hooked on the series for life. After the abysmal third season I sat down to watch some of the movies,more specifically Slayers Perfect(released stateside as Slayers the Motion Picture) and I was yet again disappointed. The plot was weird,Naga confused me,and it just didn't feel like Slayers to me. I decided to give it a re watch because I like to re affirm my hatred. However I found that I may have been too harsh on the film.

This was the first of the five Slayers films mostly focusing on Lina's adventures before she meets Goury in the main series. Her companion is the ridiculous Naga the Serpent,Lina's self proclaimed rival. She is a butt monkey that could almost rival Goury and excels at creating golems. I tell you these things because the movie explains nothing about her outside of the rivalry. This is sort of the movie's first real problem:explanation. It just sort of drops you into the story with no real explanation of the characters or who they are. Coming from the TV series all your going to be wondering is where the hell is Lina's regular group and why this weird stripper is following Lina around.

Lina also tends to make some weird leaps in logic near the climax of the movie. Normally she is shown weighing her options and deciding what is best. Here she just decides they have to time travel with no indication of why she thinks that. Nor is there any hint from any other character that that is what they need to do. It sort of goes hand in hand with the choppy editing. Scenes just end abruptly with a black screen and poof next scene. It makes the movie feel disjointed up until the third act where the movie finally gets it together for a bit. The third act throws time travel and Goury's ancestor(?). This tends to be a sticking point for some and for a time I was in that camp. However looking back the whole time travel thing sits fine with me and makes sense. Mind you the method to actually time travel is bizarre but I just chalk it up to more bad editing As for the Goury part I just tend to ignore this since it's never brought up after this movie.

That's what the movie did wrong but what did it do right:everything else. Tone wise it's pretty dark for a Slayers movie but it oddly doesn't feel that out of place. The atmosphere matches this and the movie is fairly dark and scary. Events happen that are just plain eerie,very little background music is played and the color pallet is darker to build up the foreboding. The main villain Joyrock is as terrifying as a Slayers villain can be and has almost won by the time the plot has started. Everything just congeals into this mass of terror that even the comedy can't truly break. Don't get me wrong the comedy is great but it's more there to comfort you. It's wonderful in a weird way.

Looking back this movie was no where near the stinker I once thought it was and has a certain charm to it. It's marred by poor editing and some minor plot holes but it's worth looking past for some great atmosphere and comedy bits. Defiantly not the worst of the Slayers movies but we'll get there soon enough.
Till next time:Stay Positive

Things No One Cares About:Hamtaro,Ham-Ham Heartbreak

Hamtaro is probably one of my first anime that wasn't Pokemon. I was either scared or disinterested in most of the anime that ran during the Toonami block. So I turned to the adventure of that little orange hamster and his friends. I don't remember much of the show but really that not what I'm here to talk about. I would talk about it more but that would require me to re watch all 296 episodes and ain't nobody got time for that. Instead I'll be looking at it's video game tie-ins. The first one being Hamtaro:Ham Ham Heartbreak.

Technically it is the third game in the series and the second one released outside Japan. The first one being Ham Hams Unite for the Game boy Color which I'll get back to soon enough. Either way it was released in 2003 for the Game boy Advanced and is sort of a hidden gem for a system with a library full of found gems. That was a joke...moving on.

Hamtaro:Ham Ham Heartbreak is an adventure game that focuses less on item collection to solve puzzles and more on using words and actions.Ham Chats, a carry over from Ham Hams Unite, are the words used to solve the various problems of the hamsters.The beginning of the game explains why Hamtaro doesn't have his extensive vocabulary from last time(Spoiler:he's a klutz). All the words let Hamtaro and Bijou interact with the world and achieve their goals. Most of them have a few specific uses outside of the handful Boss teach you in the intro. As a side note Hamtaro does not seem to care if what is happening around him,if he learns a new Ham Chat then by god is he going to pull out his dictionary and write it down. Someone is crying their eyes out,screw them they just taught me how to say cry better record it real quick. I find it kind of funny.

So Ham Chats are puzzle solvers but what kind of puzzles are we solving. It's love,your basically hamster cupid and have to get hamsters to fall into or back into love. You do this by either giving people something or helping people out with a Ham chat word. That's basically the whole game and it's actually pretty fun. All the puzzles are creative if a bit on the simple side(it is a kid's game). It helps that the game is fairly short with six stages ,so the concept doesn't wear out it's welcome. There are three different ending sequences to get for fixing all the loves,beating the final boss and learning all the Ham chats. The game has a few more side things but they are mostly just for fun such as playing dress up or finding gems.

If I have to nit-pick it's that some of the puzzles can be slightly obtuse such as peeing on a fake reflection to make it lose it's cool.Luckily nothing approaching the normal moon logic this kind of game tends to run on. Then there is the fact that you have to sit through a short animation every time you want to pick something up in a room. Also Hamtaro and Bijou make this annoying squeaking sound with every step they take and it can be grating. However this are still nit picks and don't ruin an other wise solid experience.

The story is pretty simple:There is a hamster named Spat who hates love and you have to go around cleaning up his messes with the help of his nemesis,Harmony. This game is shipping Hamtaro with Bijou so she joins up and together you fight for love. Spat has no motivation beyond being a jerk but he does break down as the game goes on moving from simple rumor mongering to theft and finally attempted murder. I have a hard time believing that some characters actually trust a guy who looks like Satan in hamster form. His counterpart Harmony gets the same amount of back story and comes off as a bit loony. One could argue that her and Spat are in an alternate reality game that got way out of hand. Either that or God and Satan just got bored and decided to screw with some hamsters. It's not that complex a story but it works.Hey, it is better than the last game which is go find everybody because Boss said so. Most of the show's cast make appearances and despite not having seen this show in years I was still squealing like a 9 year old girl every time I saw one of them.

The story does explore the different kinds of love and is pretty open minded about love from friendship to romance to sibling love. I think they have a gay couple in one area that you help out but that may just be me being hopeful or them being vague on some hamster's genders. Hamtaro and Bijou play well off each other and their little love scene at the end is adorable.

The graphics and animations have been upgraded from Unite and some Ham chats have a little more complex animations now. The game looks more like the show with everything being bright and colorful and every important hamster being unique. The areas are all your basic settings(mountain,beach,jungle etc.) from a hamster 's perspective which adds a nice touch to things and lends it self to some cool looking areas. The music is nice if nothing special and you can set a dance to most of the BGM if you find the track in the levels.

For the most part licensed games tend to get a bad rap and to be fair quite a few deserve the reputation. This is definitely not one of them and deserves a look for anyone who wants a good time.

Till next time Stay Positive

Things No One Cares About: Free! Iwatobi Swim Club

A vocally straight friend and I were discussing Kill La Kill and he made mention of the teacher's weird and hilarious fan service scene. He found it gratuitous, I didn't. It reminded me of how he had mentioned Free! And it's own gratuitous male fan service. This is all the motivation I needed to watch Free! Iwatobi Swim Club.

Free! Iwatobi Swim Club is known in most circles as the swimming anime and all others as "look at that body". Notable for it's high fan service aimed at females and a guy who is often shipped with water. It should also be noted for having actual interesting characters and a half way decent plot.

The plot follows a group of boys with girly names and their re founding of the high school swimming club after meeting up with their friend turned rival. They train for tournaments,have team building adventures and get characterization on motivations. The Free in the title refers to both Freestyle swimming and the characters desire to be free from the past. Most of the boys has something holding them back from becoming a successful and fulfilling their dreams. It adds a nice layer of depth to an other wise standard sports plot and made each episode worth watching. Every episode the we learn more about the characters and why stick with this whole mess even if they don't have to.

The show moves along at a nice clip while giving the characters time to reflect and let things soak in(pun intended) .It seems like the first competition did come up somewhat fast but once I made it to the end of the show,it came at just the right time. The series is also pretty funny for not being a pure comedy series. Haruka and Rei are the comically serious while Makoto gets to over react. They are also not above poking fun at themselves with jabs at Haruka's love of water and the gratuitous amount of male physique on display.

Our main cast has five boys:First is Haruka Nanase,the boy who loves water. He sort of comes off as just plain weird; sometimes often talking about the water as if it were a person, and seems to only eat mackerel. He is also an amazing swimmer (only freestyle though) and the glue holding the swim team together. He starts of wanting to be ordinary but every encounter with childhood rival Rin has him questioning what he actually wants and how he can get that. Figuring him out can be somewhat difficult just due to him rarely speaking. It's left to pieces of flashbacks and how other characters act around him. He has a dolphin motif that nicely contrasts Rin's shark motif.

His best friend/mother figure is Makoto Tachibana, the new swim team's captain. Makoto is sort of the Wilson to Haruka's House. He's always watching out for him and trying to keep him safe. When he does become captain of the swim club he evolves into the team mom constantly looking out for the boys and putting aside his own fears for the team. He's not as troubled as Haruka outside of a fear of water but is still the emotional center of the team. He has a Killer Whale,a symbol of leadership, as his motif which fits his personality to a tee.

Nagisa Hazuki is the most enthusiastic of the boys and has a hero worship relationship with Haruka. He is all boundless enthusiasm and excitement. He doesn't learn any real lessons outside of teamwork which he's pretty well versed in from the beginning . His bouncy personality is cute and he helps to keep everyone going. His goofy/flighty nature does well to hide his strong love for the team and when things go wrong he is trying his best to set things right. He is also the only person who will tease the boys about their girly names often adding -chan to their names. His animal motif is the penguin and more specifically the Rock hopper penguin as it's the teams mascot drawn by Haruka.

The last member of the new team is Rei Ryugazaki,who shares Haruka's role as the comically serious and is a lover of beauty. He is the last member to join and also gets one of the better jokes in the series which I really don't want to spoil. His obsession with beauty is fairly low key once he joins the team and most of his arc is focused on him becoming part of the team and culminates in a crowing moment of heart warming. He constantly struggles with the fact that he doesn't have the history the others have and he eventually learns what must be done so he can be "free" to join the team.

Rin Matsuoka is the rival and main antagonist of the series. Most of the series for him is spent taunting Haruka and the team. It's all a facade to mask his own crippling failure as a solo swimmer. Like Haruka they are trying to come to terms with their reasons for swimming and by extension living. He channels his rage into beating Haruka and is baffled when he doesn't feel satisfied by beating him. He is a joy to watch struggle through his issues and finally take his life in his hands and move on. I do wish that they would explore more with of his relationship with his family as there is a bit of a goldmine there from guilt over "ruining" his father's dream and his poor relationship with his sister

The supporting cast are nothing special but do provide a good laugh or two. Rin's sister,Kou, is used as a bit of an audience surrogate in regards to the fanserivce going on. Also I swear that Rin's kohai looks like a middle school age Yu Narukami without the panache. All of them are at least memorable but not particularity well developed.

The animation is gorgeous with bright colors and a clean look. The character design does leave a little to be desired as it's pretty much stock bishonen stereotypes. Being bishonen they do look very handsome so that helps. Apparently their bodies are also accurate to what a swimmers build would look like. I personally wouldn't know as I'm no expert on muscles outside of well that looks nice. The ending animation is bizarre and oddly compelling telling a weird little tale about Haruka in the desert looking for water with a random club scene thrown in. I couldn't tear my self away from it and was sort of disappointed the last episode lacked it. The music all around is not bad with the OP and ED being kind of catchy if generic. Also the rest of the OST does answer my question: What if Shoji Meguro tried to compose while massively drunk. The answer:not bad.

So in the end is Free! worth your time if you're not a lover of the male body? I'd say yes. If you can look past that there is a interesting plot with some fun characters. If you are a lover of the male body then hey your getting a pretty good show with some eye candy to boot. Till next time, Stay Positive.

Things No One Cares About:Tales from Earthsea

So I've been away for a while for reasons that would bore you so I won't go on but I'm back and that's all that matters(to me anyway).

I recently had a chance to sit down with a friend and watch Tales from Earthsea. I knew that the author and the fans of the books were displeased with it but figured people can be really nitpicky with adaptions. I mean I love P4 and yet that's all I did during it's TV adaption. However in this case I'm inclined to agree with them as this movie is atrocious. The pacing is plodding,the plot is a mess,and the animation feels phoned in.

The film is directed by Goro Miyazaki as opposed to his father,Hayao and this is the only movie he would direct till 2011's From Up On Poppy Hill which I have not seen. Based on a series of fantasy novel by Ursula L. Guin. Specifically the Wizard of Earthsea cycle which features Ged. That's all I'll say about the books as I really haven't read them. Let's get to talking about this movie then.

The movie opens with a scene off a Dio album cover with two dragons fighting then cuts to a long scene about politics that ends with the king stabbed by one of the main characters,Arren. Both scenes are not brought up again. After that it finally decided to pick a damn scene and cuts to Arren getting saved by Ged. All of this happens in a rather short span and I had no idea what was going on. After a while I really wished we went back to jumping around scene as being confused would have been better that being bored. Events happen that have no meaning,the action has no stakes,and the film just wanders. It's like the middle of Eva 3.33 except uninteresting and twice as long. There is a lack of purpose and as a result nothing happens. It spends time on a crappy romance subplot between Arren and this girl who lives with Ged's friend. The have the chemistry of a pair of redwoods and they just sort of fall for each other after she sings a terrible song. This whole thing culminates in a ending scene where she turns into a dragon. By the time this happened I just wanted the movie to be over and never questioned it.

The actual plot is even more boring and concerns a evil wizard who wants to live for ever and magic being dead. Everything is poorly explained and glossed over. There is something about Arren fighting his shadow that just seems to be thrown in and takes up more of the movies long run time. The film runs for about two hours but felt like almost four due to the horrendously slow pace. So the story is like your father on Wednesday afternoons: rambling,stupid,and awful at his job. If the story is the father then the characters learned being terrible from watching it.

All the characters are flat as the disc that the movie is on and also just as uninteresting. The villain has a poor immortality obsession,Ged's character is non-existent and most everyone else is bland. Arren whom I guess is supposed to be out main character has an arc that is schizophrenic. First dealing with the aforementioned shadow malarkey and then he has an obsession with living forever. It would help if I had any idea of these character's motivations and sense of them as people. However I don't so I don't. My friend and I decided early on that most likeable character was Arren's horse and rooted for him the whole time. We dubbed him Donkey punch and hoped he would save the day. Just saying when the horse is the best character,you are doing something wrong

To the movie's credit,there are are two good scenes that are frankly wasted on this movie and both involving Ged. One where he gives a wondrous speech about valuing life and why immortality is foolish. Had this film been in a better films it would have skyrocketed to greatness. However it's in this movie so it just fizzles out. Th second is a funny moment where Ged trolls the guards looking for him with magic that is hilarious. Again if this would have made a good move shine but nope wasted on this tripe.

I mentioned that the animation seemed phoned in and while I do stick by that, it does not mean it looks bad. It actually looks really good and flows really well. That being said it really has nothing special about it. They seemed to take the visual style from Howl's Moving Castle instead of giving it it's own look. Nothing really amazing but perfectly serviceable. There is a randomly violent scene that just comes straight out of no where near the end. It's really jarring as the film was pretty tame up to then.

So as we reach the end,what have we learned:probably nothing of value. However if we are talking about pointless things then it would be that this movie is bad and it should feel bad. Go watch a good Ghibl film or heck read the books,anything to avoid this garbage. I only hope that the director learned form his mistakes and did better with From Up On Poppy Hill.

Until next time Stay Positive

Things No One Cares About:Jojo's Bizarre Adventure 2012

Jojo once held the distinction of being one of the longest running manga to not have a TV adaption,only having a thirteen episode travesty of an OVA series Last year changed that and we received the first part of this ambitious project to adapt the the whole series. This part cover the first two arcs of the series Phantom Blood and Battle Tendency. I'll talk a little more plot on BT as I already discussed PB a few weeks ago. Without further ado:Jojo's Bizarre Adventure...2012.

The first half is again Phantom Blood and covers episodes 1-9. The story is a straight adaption which hinders it on the character side as Johnathan Jostar is still not that interesting but makes up for it by basically having everyone ham it up. No one has an indoor voice and everyone just devours scenery. It's a sight to behold and makes the whole show enjoyable. Special mention goes to Takehito Koyasu as Dio who manages to steal every scene he is in and is a terrifying presence even when he's only a head. Along with Smoky in BT they have made Wang Chun a little less of a stereotype though it's still a little jarring. Overall this section works and we also get to see Dio taken out to Yes' Owner of a Lonely Heart which is cool. Also be on the watch for episode three which is possibility the most manly thing to be put on TV. I might be pregnant now from the sheer testosterone pumping through the final scenes. A minor compliant is that if your not familiar with the original arc it will feel a little rushed but it's a pretty short arc anyway so it's not too bad.

The remaining episodes(10-26) cover the slightly longer Battle Tendency and we our introduced to the amazing Joesph Jostar The arc covers his battles with the beings that made the stone mask form PB. To me this is one of the best Shonen manga arcs I've ever read. It takes the concepts from PB and takes them to their logical extremes while exploring the source of Dio's power and having Jojo fight that. It has only about four or five major fights but each one is grandiose in it's own right. Overall like part one it's just having fun. Joesph is a fun character he's constantly thinking about how to outwit his opponents. He's the only man that can make running away look heroic He is also a world class bluffer,talking his enemies into giving him a month to train because he might be able to beat them. Tomokazu Sugita is obviously enjoying the role and fits Joesph to a T, pulling of the goofy engrish catch phrases with panache. The main trio of Joesph,Caesar and Lisa Lisa are all well rounded enough and I think we get a little more back story on our antagonists the Pillar Men here than in the manga. The only character I really don't care for is Suzie Q due to her and Joesph's romance coming out of nowhere. If I have any complainants about this part specifically is that near the end R.E.O Speedwagon's shtick of yelling exposition gets grating and the last few episodes seem to meander around waiting to get to the final one for the big epic battle.Overall it is a load of fun to watch and Joesph Jostar is a sexy charismatic stallion who,who dammit I forgot what I was saying. He's great is what I'm saying,(stupid sexy Joseph).

The storys in this world of ham work perfectly but the art catapults the series to greatness The authors signature sound effects are strewn through out the scenes and like everything else the art just oozes style. It's so over the top that the very act of walking around is made fun. The colors are very bright and the outfits are glam as hell with Caesar's outfit not looking out of place at a 80's club.

Unlike those abysmal 90's/00's OVAs this is how you adapt Jojo: with style and fun. I honestly can't wait to see the next season for Stardust Crusaders maybe I'll actually enjoy the arc this time. If you're looking for a good fighting show and haven't watched this then go ahead and do so, you won't regret it.

As Always Stay Positive.