Things No One Cares About:Slayers Premium

Time tends to change things for some people,anger subsides,relationships become deeper and most importantly opinions can change. Such is the case with the film I watched three weeks ago that I had previously watched about a year ago. When I first watched it I loathed this film and I still do but now I have found new reasons to despise it. What film caused my dull rage,it was Tales of Earthsea. Wait, no I still hate that movie.What I meant to say is Slayers Premium.

Slayers Premium was released in 2001 and would be the last animated Slayers material till 2008's Slayers Revolution. This is the second film not to actually be written by Slayers author Hajime Kanzaka,the other being the previously discussed Perfect. Perfect dealt with the lack of Kanzaka with a darker tone and decent plot. However here we are reduced to two okay jokes and a well tread plot that can't hold it's own. It is trying to hard to recreate Slayers Return...like the other films and just can't do it.

The movie's big hook was that after four films of Naga and Lina inspired antics,we were finally getting a movie involving the more recognizable cast of the TV series...and Naga. However here is where the first big problem comes up:No one except Lina and Gourry have anything to do. The trickster demon,Xellos,only role is to fill Zelgadis and Amelia on the plot,which anyone could do. Then you don't see him again till the end of the movie. Zelgadis and Amelia are both disabled by a ridiculous curse before they can do anything. Then forget that they are an accomplished swordsman and pugilist respectively. It makes me question while we are even dealing with these three when clearly the movie wants to focus on Lina and Gourry.

The second main sticking point for me was the villain and this is where I've softened up on the film some. When I first watched this I derided him as an awful gay stereotype who's only joke was that he was swishy. However seeing him again I really don't get that vibe,and realized I should hate him for his true crime:being unfunny. For all I know the joke could be that he talks sort of weird and in certain voices that can be a good joke. However here it's not so the few scenes we get with him are a slog. On the other hand he is the indirect cause of two funny jokes but that is quickly forgotten because he's also responsible for making this movie longer.

His main plan is cursing everybody to talk in the octopus language to cause fear and confusion. The language disables magic because of the language barrier,and of course due to plot convince Lina gets hit by this right before she can let off a plot ending Dragon Slave. So we get to pad this movie's already short thirty minute run time just to recreate the ending to Return sans a ridiculous golem battle. Then once we get to the required big monster battle it's literately Lina standing behind a big rock and casting Dragon Slave.

Also without Kanzaka we get awful character interactions. Lina and Gourry play off each other like wet paper with Gourry lacking dialogue to even interact with Lina for the most of the movie other than to annoy her. Amelia and Zelgadis have been sort of shipped together in the main series and are traveling together here but lack the sweetness of the relationship. Zelgadis is more of a grumpy disapproving dad which is sort of in character but does feel out of place in his interactions with Amelia. The whole cast interacts like casual acquaintances rather than a group of traveling companions that has defeated cosmic horrors.

I guess I'll stop alluding to my main problem and just say it,this movie is not funny. Not many of the jokes work and those that do are few and far between. The original characters aren't entertaining,which is something even Great managed to get right. As I've said numerous times if Slayers isn't funny then I have to resort to looking at the plot and that is something you don't want. Gorgeous really did take Return's plot but still had funny jokes that were all it's own. This one takes the plot and foolishly thinks that it's a great plot. Even with all the problems Hourglass of Falces had it at least gave everyone an equal part in its' awfulness.

As I stated at the beginning time can change opinions. I do have more an appreciation for Perfect upon re watch. However time has allowed my hate for this film to grow and find more problems. The pacing is horrendous,the characters are either useless,unfunny or both and the plot is stale. The weirdly infuriating part of the whole mess asides from the film itself is the box art. The movie box set has art from this splashed all over it like this was the creme of the crop.Yes, I realize how petty this is but it bugs me.

Till next time Stay Positive

Thnigs No One Cares About:Slayers Gorgeous

I guess it's been a while since we've talked about Slayers...or really anything for that matter. I'd make an excuse but eh I got nothing. Lets change that and talk about Slayers Return 2 or as the kids call it,Slayers Gorgeous. It was released in 1998 almost a year to the day after the forgettable Slayers Great and the first one that wasn't released alongside an anime season but was the last part of the prequel series to the main series. I'm going to get the bad out of the way first so I can actually say nice things about this movie.

The movie is a really a point for point retread of Return,right down to the the plot being hijacked by a monster that the villain can't control. It attempts the same twist that Return had,with it's darker opening The editing and color palate being very similar with their attempts to mislead you into thinking this might be a bit serious. Hell it throws in a callback to the bizarre golem scene from Return as well. However you know what the film is still funny.

Upon my last re watch I really did start noticing the above mentioned gripes but it does not matter because again it is still hilarious and actually does add a few new things in to the mix. As I have said numerous times Slayers plots tend to be average and more a medium for the comedy. Thus they tend to fall into a sort of template that works for them. See the anime having clearly defined arcs where Lina and co have build up to one villain. There is nothing wrong with that,it's a solid foundation that the comedy builds the house on. When the story tries to get more serious the harder we have to look at the foundation and realized that it is made of sand, I.e Hourglass of Falces. So Returns had a stable plot and structure that worked. Gorgeous realizes this and use that structure to tell a fun story with a breezy pace.

The only real problem I do have with it borrowing Return's structure is that final part of the movie with the aforementioned hijacking. The villain seems to be there because I guess the director had some scenes to foreshadow him and it would look awful silly if they didn't do anything with them. There are no really good jokes in the big battle and the guy is just not that unlikable that I want to see him defeated. You really could have cut these scenes and lost nothing outside of showing how well Naga and Lina can work together. Even then that could have been demonstrated better without those scenes

Through out the series Naga and Lina have had a volatile yet trusting relationship and while Return played with it a little it was tame compared to here. Their own relationships is almost central to the plot as they go from fire forged comrades to bitter enemies at the drop of a coin. They are both greedy as all get out and this fact does lead to them choosing sides for no other reason than to fatten their own purse. However as much as they are constantly trying to one up the other they can pull their act together to fell a mutual enemy. If only to have go right back to quibbling a moment later.

Admittedly they did try something like this in Great as well but there their own conflicts took a back seat to the abysmal main conflict and their big showdown was one of the most boring thing ever animated. Here the main conflict is more of a free standing joke on dragons while Lina and Naga are just trying to one up each other and get paid to do so. It's honestly pretty funny that Naga joins the bratty princess just to teach her how to laugh more arrogantly.

The comedy does borrow slightly from Return with it's misleading seriousness but goes on to rely on smaller twists with pratfalls and some great continuity jokes. It has great comedic timing and I was laughing quite often. It does lack the big comedic set-pieces the Return had but makes up for it with it's mythology gags and pratfalls that you never really notice the lack of the former

Overall this is not a bad movie by any means it is very entertaining and well paced. This is probably the best portrayal of the Naga/Lina relationship and I'd place it up there with Return. Yes,maybe I will marry Return,what's it to you. Definitely worth checking out if you need a laugh.

Till next time: Stay Positive.