Metroid Wrap-up

So Metroid time comes to an end because the last three things really didn't warrant a whole post. Just to be quick about it,what little I read of the strategy guide was moronic.The Metroid Prime comic that ran in Nintendo Power(God rest it's soul) was only slightly better than Episode of Aether in that it was short and didn't have time to become a snowball of awful. The Shounen Ou! are really odd but still pretty dang funny for the fact that everyone including Samus is an idiot.

Samus and Joey was by far the best thing I have read, I know I gushed about it in the review but seriously go read it.It's a really fun adventure story that actually treats Samus with respect. I'm really sad no one has translated the third volume. Speaking of translations, I'd like to thank the Metroid Database for hosting all of the manga that was featured this time. Without them I'd have been stuck reading the prequel Metroid manga and that was that. So if I've manged to convince you to read anything these past few weeks then go to them. Okay enough plugging on to another topic.

On the other end of the spectrum there is Episode of Aether and the more I think about it the more I find  to hate about it.Metroid Prime 2 is one of my favorite games in the series and to see it just butchered like this kills me inside. The entire first chapter concerns a big lipped alligator fight and the rest of it has to focus on those god-awful marines.There were so many cool things going on in Echos that the decision to cut most of the game is just baffling. I thought the Majora's Mask manga was bad for skipping around but it has nothing on this book. There was so much potential in this book and I still like that it plays with the public perception of Samus. If they had just stuck to that then maybe...nope it would still probably suck. So lets just leave it at that.

Again thanks to Metroid Database and my occasional editors who try to make my ramblings readable.I'll see all five of you back here soon for something completely different. Till Next Time: Stay Positive.

Things No One Cares About:Metroid(Manga)

We've finally reach the end of the road metaphorically speaking,arriving at the end manga wise and the beginning time line wise. It's been a long road with some nice paved roads with a small interlude on a dirt road filled with oil slicks and whatnot. Reading this manga a few week back is what inspired me to write again for better or worse. In some respects I do owe it that,on the other hand it's not that good so I do not owe it that much.

The Metroid manga was released as a tie-in of sorts to promote the remake of the original Metroid,Zero Mission. As mentioned previously it does take quite a few cues from Nintendo Power's(god rest its' soul) Super Metroid comics. Expanding heavily on Samus' back story as well as Mother Brain and the Galactic Federation to some extent. It is considered the canon back story that most games are supposed to be drawing from even if it contains/causes contradictions for some of the games. I'd say more but it involves Other M and I'm not opening that can of worms.

The plot as mentioned is a more detailed account of Old Bird's story from the Super Metroid comics giving us more insight on the Chozo's culture and how Zebes became a pirate stronghold. They give Samus and Old Bird more of a connection with him being her rescuer after Ridley's attack on Samus's colony. They also introduce the character of Grey Voice,who despite having a much important role in the second half,gets downplayed in the section concerning Samus' childhood. So once he does pull a big damn hero moment it lose some of it's impact. Mother Brain is introduced as the control computer of Zebes and gets a generic AI gone rouge personality. The story bring up some more ties to Metroid Fusion with the Chozo's discovery of the X-parasite. The Chozo decide to not tell the Federation about The X because they'd just screw it up. I'd give them more crap about that but knowing the Federation's track record it's probably for the better.

The Galactic Federation is in it's infancy here with the Space Pirate problem being a major issue that they spend about a chapter or so debating. It is sort of like the Phantom Menace senate scenes except much shorter They've redesigned Chairman Keaton in to a more of a wise old man and Hardy into a buddy cop police chief. The characters aren't that bad just one note which extends to most of the Federation characters. Adam Malkovich also makes his manga appearance here and again I am not going into Other M. He doesn't do much and it's baffling why Samus ends up trusting him so much. They get like two minor scenes together and she and him are great partners after that.

Samus herself has some fairly interesting growth here going from hotheaded young person to a strong responsible adult. The Chozo saddle her with heavy responsibility and the weight of that plus being slightly outcast develops her lone wolf personality. She struggles to deal with her past and ends up confronting it and finally accepting her destiny. This is also where they bring up Samus' PTSD with Ridely...and she overcomes it. It's a really great scene that is handled well and is a big turning point for Samus. That's all I'm going to say about it,moving on.

The plot itself is not really that bad overall it suffers from poor characters and everyone is just boring outside of Samus and Gray Voice. The story itself is presented well enough and flows really well till the end where it decided to tack on some weird direct prologue to the original game. It brings up a plot hole regarding the acquisition of Samus missiles and bombs. The whole section is rushed and feels out of place.

The art for the book is great and a bit meh at the same time. The alien races all look like something George Lucas would turn down for being to silly and are really generic. The Chozo look awesome even if their own version of the power suit is a tad ridiculous. The pirates and Ridley are on par with the penguins from Samus and Joey is terms of terrifying designs. On the other end of the spectrum young Samus is one of the cutest things I have seen in my life.

In the end this really is not that bad a manga just okay. It is lacking anything to make it stand out or be enjoyable like Samus and Joey.As far as canon goes we could get worse, they could have made the Echos manga canon. It is not worth checking out unless you really need a Metroid fix or want to see a bird man kick some serious ass.

Things No One Cares About: Samus and Joey

It seems everyone has this bizarre desire to see Samus teamed up with someone. The games like giving her a mission support like the much contested Adam or the less contested U-Mos. However, the various books decide to go a different route and give here a partner or partners of some sort. The Super Metroid comic had the very weird Houston Armstrong,while Echos gave us the GFS Boring team. The Zero Mission manga,which we'll get to soon,teams her up with some random guys as well. To me telling a story about Samus would be a great opportunity to do some silent story telling as it's something the games have done well. I guess I'll just have to wait for that to happen,till then here is another team up book called Samus and Joey.

Samus and Joey is a 2003 manga by Kouji Izuki,who's only other noted work are a few Megaman manga. If the quality of this manga is any indication then I'd say that those are worth a read. If this book was caring about canon then it's supposed to be slotted between Metroid and Metroid Prime. However it's really not so that last sentence was just me being a nerd. So moving on let's talk about why this manga actually works.

Those characters I mentioned before all tend to have one major problem. They're boring, or in Houston's case silly. They seem to tend to suck up panel time with their blandness. However the time is taken to make Joey a likable character. The fact that he is a young kid will probably turn some people off the series but there is a lot of care to make him not just another brat. He does have his bratty moments but what little kid doesn't. He actually does try to better himself through Samus' minimal guidance and they give him ways to not be a burden. He's trying to grow up and this becomes the central point of the stories. He's a believable character that endears himself and makes the time with him enjoyable.

This brings me to the second point of why this work: Samus is set up a supporting cast member. The Echos manga almost seemed ashamed that it had to be about Samus and pushed her to the back. Here she is treated more like a mentor to Joey, helping him on his journey and doing the more heavy fighting that Joey simply can't do. She is a bit tough on Joey but does genuinely care for him and she is never gone from the plot too long. She does try to drop Joey off somewhere away from her but it's more due to the nature of her missions than any actual dislike of Joey.

The plots themselves are typical adventure plots involving pirates (it is a Metroid manga), killer creatures and robots. They are not that bad if a little run of the mill. It is nice however to see the pirates keep there canonical(at least to me) lack of foresight. The second story does lack a proper resolution between Joey and his mother which sort of irks me. However the stories do let Joey grow as a character so most of this can be forgiven. As a side note the book does acknowledge how powerful and devastating Samus' weapons can be,it's a nice touch

The art is pretty okay on this one with a much more animated look. Everything wouldn't look out of place in a Saturday morning cartoon. Samus has a cool character design and the pirates all look goofy. The other enemies look terrifying especially the penguins in the Rescue operations arc. I'm still having nightmares about the damn things.

So I kind of went into this with mixed feelings and wound up pleasantly surprised. It treats Samus with more respect than Echos and gives us a few more interesting characters to boot It is probably one of the better of the Metroid manga and definitely worth checking out.

Things No One Cares About: Metroid Prime: Episode of Aether

Metroid Prime 2:Echos is a sequel(no really) to Metroid Prime and is a bit of a change from the first game with much darker atmosphere and that lovely duel world game play that Nintendo adores. However I'm not here to talk about that game so no one cares about my thoughts on that game instead I am going to look at the manga. If you don't care about that either,then keep your mouth shut,because that is what I'm talking about. This is a bit of a weird manga that sadly lacks focus. I was only able to read the first six chapters and truly have no desire to read the last chapter.

It follows the plot of Echos fairly loosely covering the major plot points from the beginning and the end of the game. Torvus Bog and it's dank swamp that has intense firefights with nasty creatures,who needs it? The imposing and marvelous Santuary Fortress,considered the high point of the Prime series,and that awesome fight with Quadraxis,that's just a waste of time. No what you want is Samus fighting some no name jerk and then teaming up with stock military characters. Well that's what manga-ka Matsumoto Hisashi decided was important,so I guess that is what we are going with.

The plot seriously skips from the beginning of Agon wastes to her getting the light suit and preparing to fight the Emperor Ing(i.e one of the final bosses of Echos). I was trying to figure out if I'd skipped a chapter somehow as it seems the marines and Samus had had this great character moments but nope I didn't. We need that chapter to have the four characters who aren't Samus fight a giant pillbug.

With all the skipping and shoving Samus to one side,nothing interesting really happens at all. Dark Samus shows up but it is never explained what she is(barring the last chapter).The real highlight is honestly an early fight with some no name enemies. Even then it's more for the narm factor of Samus calling her attacks. It lacks the tense foreboding that beginning of the game did so well. Going through the marines makeshift encampments while slowly piecing together what happened is frightening and interesting. Here it's just have a video of what happened and hey there are some survivors better go find them.

Samus is a determined warrior dedicated to helping others,one of the more popular interpretations of her character . It does add some personality and I really do sympathize with her. Doing your job in a very matter of fact and silent manner would unnerve people. She is often mistaken for being emotionless despite her truly kind heart. Unfortunately her lone wolf traits are used as excuse to have her just leave the little group of survivors behind. Heaven forbid we have Samus be in a manga about her own game. The sixth chapter is the aforementioned pill bug fight with one page of Samus fighting the Emperor Ing.

This would be slightly forgivable if the characters we do focus were actually characters or at least likable. If you've read or watched anything in recent memory where a small military group survives a hostile situation than you know how the characters will play out. The coward who learns to be brave,the loner ace,the scientist and the tech guy. None of them have any personality worth talking about and their character arcs can be guessed with in five seconds flat. We have two whole chapters dedicated to these idiots while Samus is off doing things people want to read about.

The art is fine with no real standout designs or things to see. It's drawn like a typical shonen manga which is not bad with in it self as it does look nice. However there is just nothing to look at . It does not even have any weird panels or the like to just plain laugh at.

I started out annoyed by this manga due to the largely unnecessary opening fight scene,got drawn in by Samus' characterization and then pulled straight out by all the material left on the cutting room floor. Unless that last chapter some how makes everything I just said invalid some how,avoid this stinker.

Things No One Cares About: Super Metroid(Nintendo Power)

In the spring of 1994 Super Metroid was released for the Super Nintendo and is today hailed as a classic. For good reason,it is an amazing game that took its' predecessors and made them even better. It also contributed heavily to the concept of speed running. The game world was massive and you could spend hours exploring it looking for new items and fighting interesting creatures. Through out the whole adventure as was common for games in the 8/16 bit eras, Samus kept silent leaving the player to infer what she was thinking and how she reacted. However when it came time to put Samus in a comic book,the whole silence routine wasn't going to fly. So in the summer of 1994 she was given a semblance of a personality in the Nintendo Power(God rest it's soul) comics written by Benimaro Itoh.

Itoh who had previously worked on the Starfox and Earthbound comics was given this project that ran through issues 57-61 of Nintendo power(God rest it's soul). He uses his short run to condense the story of Super Metroid into 5 chapters even throwing in some back story for Samus. It's interesting that this would be the comic that would influence the later manga adaption of the series for reasons we'll get to but back to Samus for a minute.

Itoh decided to go with what every child in the 90's thought she would be like and made her a bad ass action hero. It's down right hilarious to watch her spout one liners she thinks are cool but come off as cheesy. That word right there describes the whole book:Cheesy. She gets a big southern sidekick named Houston for some odd as reason who spouts equally goofy one liners. They don't really play up any romance between the two which is probably for the best. If he did then we would not have time for wacky hijinks between the alien chairman(Keaton) and the fat guy who runs the galactic police force(Hardy). The constant cut backs to the chairman and the police chief are funny enough but pad out an already short story. So much so that the last chapter feels very rushed as a result.

One minor thing that does irk me about the plot is that Hardy ends up killing the baby Metroid by accident instead of it making it's heroic sacrifice to save Samus. Though even then it's kinda funny to be robbed of that moment by the most useless character in the comic.

Most of these characters would later show up in the official manga with the exception of Houston,again probably for the better. The back story that Old Bird provides is also expanded upon in that same manga. Same goes for what little characterization Mother Brain gets here. I wouldn't call the plot faithful to the original more using it as a jumping off point.

The art is very cartoony and enjoyable with some pure what the hell moments here and there. Especially heads that just seem to pop up in panels in some attempt of a close up. It ends up looking like the person was decapitated. The characters do look nice and this is one of the better early Samus designs. Mother Brain and Ridely are legitimately terrifying looking for their minimal panel time.

Overall yes this whole thing is rather silly and goofy. However it is clearly having fun telling you this story about a great space battle. It also helps that it does help establish some of the better elements of Samus' back story and a few other elements that would stick with the franchise. I wouldn't say it's worth your time to seek out the issues of Nintendo Power(God rest it's soul) it's featured in but it's available online and worth the read.

Till next time:Stay Positive

Status Update 1/19/14

So it has been about a month since I've posted anything and well I don't think anyone cares that bad but for those who do here's an explanation and a status update. First I took a break off for the holidays because I could and the after the first of the year ran into a minor writers block when trying to compose my thoughts on Paradise Kiss. Then some events happened in my personal life that I'm still dealing with that trigger my lovely friend,depression.

So while dealing with aforementioned problems,I've been re-visiting the Metroid series.Since I'm a giant nerd I decided to also check out the various Metroid manga and comic projects. It's interesting to see the various takes on Samus that different authors have had.So because apparently people still read this blog, I'm going to talk about the different Metroid comic/manga adaptions.This isn't going to be like my ill-fated Jojo month...hopefully as I've read most of the books I'll be talking about. I will be breaking my own flimsy rule and look at works that I am unable to complete,it will not happen again.

In some semblance of order the books on the chopping block are:

Super Metroid  (Nintendo Power)

Metroid Prime 2:Episode of Aether 

Samus and Joey

Metroid(keeping it simple,I guess)

Metroid Strategy manga and a few short pieces

Since I haven't really written that much this last month the various posts for the manga/comics will show up sporadically through the following few weeks so come back daily for updates and/or disappointment .

Holiday Things No One Cares About: Sweet Rein

This is the time of the year that everyone looks at Christmas related media and me being the eternal tag along I guess I should too. However to be original I shall do the whole review in rhyme. Oh wait, that is about as original as Doug Walker's It's a Wonderful Life parody and it's be totally annoying to boot. So on second though I will not be doing that. Anyway,what was I talking about,Sweet Rein...let's go with that

Sweet Rein is a shojo manga by Sakura Tsukuba recently released overseas to capitalize on the Christmas season. Tsukuba is probably better known for Penguin Revolution,a manga about the weirdest talent agency ever. My Anime List classifies this as a spin off of that manga but that's only due to a side chapter in the last volume. So for all two of you that were fearful that this story would not make sense without having read Penguin Revolution,rest easy.

The plot is a series of loosely connected one-shots about a girl,Kurumi becoming a Santa and her magical transforming reindeer partner,Kaito. Despite being a Christmas themed book,half the stories take place in the summer. They tend to involve Kurumi and Kaito helping fulfill a child's wish and Kurumi denying her feelings for Kaito. It also does play up the master/slave relationship the couple have and how the power dynamic affects said relationship.

It does toy with Santa tropes by making Santa follow a magical girl route and being more of a group of people rather than one old portly gentleman. It's interesting to see a different take on becoming a Santa that's not just a "oh god we have to save Christmas because Santa is a klutz" plot. It really doesn't use the magical girl tropes though that would have been kind of funny. Instead focusing on more of a child of the week structure in lieu of a monster. I feel there is more they could have done with that premise alone but they don't so the potential is out there lurking.

The plot introduces black reindeer who have hurt their masters and therefore are sentenced to live forever. Introduced in book two it really doesn't come back up till the final chapters of volume three. It doesn't do much for those chapters and is really just an excuse to do a redemption story for a new character. I could also nit pick about how Kurumi doesn't age past seventeen despite this taking place over three different Christmas. However the minor issues are lampshaded by the manga-ka. It does set the tone of this story as a silly little adventure that isn't letting little things like time get in the way. This also extends to the characters that are written with love.

Kurumi has the typical shojo protagonist problems of a dead mother and a workaholic dad. While she does not exactly jump at the opportunity to be a Santa by the end ff the first chapter she accepts it. So when it comes to actually letting go off the position till next year she's hesitant. There could be the underlying question of is she doing this out of the goodness of her heart or just to stave off the loneliness. However, she clearly enjoys the job so that angle is dropped pretty early on. She also really doesn't jump right into the relationship with Kaito despite his obvious affection. Their relationship grows as she realizes that his devotion has less to due with his servant like position and more with actual feelings for her.

Kaito himself is less complex but it is funny to try and figure out who is more desperate for this relationship to continue. He is an idiot to the extreme but he is also honest and his love is pure. His love and devotion to Kurumi is heavily influenced by his grandfather's own relationship with a Santa. While he doesn't have the (relative) depth Kurumi has,he is just a happy guy that you can't help but like. Plus he gets to be the receiver of most of the slapstick which can negate any ill will you have towards him.

The rest of the cast are unremarkable with the exception of the character who tests Santas to see if they are worthy and Katio's older brother. He get's his own Santa and the few chapters focusing on them are some of the funniest parts of the manga. Kurumi's friends are pretty blatant stock shojo characters that add nothing to the plot outside of being "like OMG you should totally hook up with him". Also they seem to take the fact that Katio is a magical transforming reindeer pretty well. In fact everybody's only reaction to him and Kurumi being a Santa is mild surprise. It is not a real problem,just rather weird.

The art is your typical Shojo style with beautiful people and sparkles everywhere. The author admits to really liking to draw naked people and animals,hence why there are quite a few beach chapters. Luckily she happens to be good at drawing what she likes as the art is fantastic. Special mention to Kaito as a reindeer as it's is very well drawn. He also has the happiest look on his face at all times as a reindeer He looks so happy that I wish I could be a reindeer just to look that happy.

As mentioned early there are a few side stories that are added to each volume that are mostly okay. There is a vampire story that plays like Usagi Drop as told by an idiot and seems to be here because the manga-ka wanted to draw a sexy vampire. The second one being about the Kurumi and Katio which is labeled a side story for some reason. Then there is the aforementioned Penguin Revolution story that I didn't read because I want to read that series first.

I'm going to be honest here for a moment this is cheesy as all get-out. The characters are not that complex and the plots make the third season of Hell Girl look brilliant. However the whole series is written with love and it shows. To me that,the constant poking fun at itself and the creative take on Santa mythology make up for all the cliches. It is something you will enjoy as you are reading it and then probably forget abut a few days later. Weather that makes it worth a read is up to you but I had fun with it.

Till Next Time:Stay Positive

Things No One Cares About:Diabolik Lovers

As most are aware,vampires have taken a turn for the romantic in recent years due to books like Twilight and Vampire Knight. Becoming beautiful creatures that are more focused on protecting a boring girl rather than whatever it is vampires regularly do. Maybe abduct ladies and give orphans a motif. Either way times have changed and vampires have changed. Diabolik Lovers knows this and wants the audience to regret ever having played into them.

Diabolik Lovers is brutal and sicking show that aired during the 2013 Fall anime season. Taking the current vampire trends and tropes and turning them on their head. Using your typical reverse harem plot and turning it into an unwanted harem in the worst way. It also manages to use the vampires more sexual connections to delve into the psychology of an abusive relationship. It all forms this wonderfully disturbing show that is not for the feint of heart.

The anime is based of the visual novel of the same name and since I can't really read Japanese I have no idea how faithful the adaptation is nor do I care. The story follows a young girl named Yui who goes to live with the Sakamaki brothers due to her father's job. She learns that they are vampires and then some terrible things happen to her. Noting even view her as a person but treating her as an object for their amusement.

The official synopsis that is given for this series honestly makes it sound completely ridiculous and it's honestly half the reason I watched it:for cheap laughs. Taking the plot at face value it is fairly silly with a heavy dose of the Grand Theft Me trope but does have equal amounts of foreshadowing so it's not out of nowhere. That is okay because while Slayer's plots are a vehicle for the comedy here it's a vehicle for the horrors of the cycle of abuse. Before we go any further lets' explain the cycle of abusive just so we are on the same page.

The Cycle of abuse is a four step model developed by Lenore Walker back in the 1970's that describes the nature of an abusive relationship. The first step is tension building,which is the lead up to the actual abusive outburst. Here the victim will try to change there behavior to prevent an outburst. The acting out phase is just that. Then there is the reconciliation phase which is where we see the I can change routine most often. It can also be where we see just flat out ignoring of the incident. Finally we go into the calm phase where the relationship normalizes before going back into tension building. It's a vicious cycle that can go on for years due to the hope of things getting better.

Our main character Yui is constantly trying to change her actions to keep one of the six brothers at peace and it almost always fails. The brothers attack her through insults and placing blame on her. Sooner or later they move to the acting out phase which is usually the sucking of her blood in increasingly sexual ways. Often implying that she likes it just to hurt her even more. After that they move right into disregarding the incident and throwing her aside. After that she normalizes for about half an episode and gets drawn right back in.

It is sicking to see it happen so many times yet Yui won't do anything about it due to fear for her own life. Again something that is probably a fear of many abuse victims and it can keep them in the relationship. She has a chance to escape about mid way through the series but stays due to a hope that things will get better if a certain mystery is solved. This mystery for the most part does remain a mystery due to lack of explanation. On the flip side of that all the boys are given a reason for why they are so abusive that stems back to Coredlia, one of their fathers three wives. It doesn't make what they do acceptable but again it shows how the abused can become the abuser.

As the show progress and we learn the above mentioned reasons for the abuse it,the plot slowly moves into confronting this behavior by having the boys work through their mommy issues. It helps keep the plot watchable because again the plot is pretty silly. Once they are free of these past issues they are able to finally move on. The final part also implies that Yui has become a vampire and now the boys actual do view her as a person. This signals the end of the abuse and maybe some happiness for all involved.

The above ending happens about halfway through the episode then the credits roll. After that is each guy telling her why they should pick him. Maybe that's how it happened in the game but here it's a little jarring. This is a show that for the most part avoided feeling like a visual novel. Some adaptions like Clannad and Stein's Gate had the feeling of going through routes however here that's not present. It made the story feel more organic and flow better. However this scene just sort of throws a monkey wrench into that and feels forced.

The six boys themselves all have a  personality and abuse style that is fleshed out well enough given the shows fairly short run time(fifteen minutes per episode for twelve episodes). Ayato is sort of pushed to be the be true pairing as he does show the most actual interest in Yui. Tending to favor insults about appearance and displays of power . Laito uses the feeling of being watched/stalked to keep her in check and continually refers to her as Bitch-chan. The more childish Kanato has temper tantrums and tries to twist Yui's kind nature into something sinister. The two oldest brothers Reiji and Shu are usually too busy to outright abuse her as they save their hate for each other. They still use her if for nothing else to destroy her sense of what little safety she has. Suburu is the kindest of the brothers and really doesn't due much to her due to being more of a broken person.

Their own back stories are pretty sparse told through mini-flashbacks and one odd time travel style episode. They have just enough characterization to give them some distinction but not truly enough to make them the complex characters they could be. Maybe given a little more time it could work out but as it stands they are just average characters.

The animations is a more traditional Gothic look that heightens the fear and anxiety that the script is playing out. The main mansion has a very old feel that invokes your more traditional vampire tropes to show that these are not your daughter's vampires but something more sinister. All the boys are impossibly good looking and this is what makes the knife twist so deep when they start being malicious and harmful to Yui(also impossibly good looking). The music is mostly piano pieces written by a drunk Danny Elfman and one guy laying down smooth bass guitar tracks at all other times. None of it's really bad but the reuse of music gets a little grating when it is not that good to begin with. The opening is kind a of a guilty pleasure in it pure cheese factor.

So who is this series for:honestly it is hard to tell . People who have been in that kind of relationship probably don't wanna watch it and the content is going to be to graphic for the shojo audience. It's more for the crowd who is sick of seeing vampire romanticized to such a ridiculous degree,those who want to see the cycle of abuse in action or if you are like me and on occasion like to feel slimy while watching a show. If you fall into any of those categories then it is definitely worth your time.

Also sorry for the delay on this one.The series ended this past Tuesday and the last couple days have been hectic so I've been a little behind...sorry.

Till next time: Stay Positive

 

Things No One Cares About: Slayers Great

I was honestly planing to do this entire review as Tony the Tiger but that would be stretching a joke too far, even for me. Also I'm not a giant orange tiger...anymore. Though I'm not really sure that would make talking about this movie anymore interesting anyway. Sorry to play my hand so quickly, but that's all I can say about this film. There is nothing to rave about or get properly annoyed at it's just sort of there.

Let's talk background in hope of reaching an arbitrary word count of lets say:648. Slayers Great came out in 1997 alongside the third and for a while final season of the anime. Slayers Perfect had it's weird atmosphere and mood going for it. While Return was more of a return(I'll be here all week) to a more humorous story with better pacing. This one has no such thing instead trying to mix the two previous films and creating a portal to the mediocre dimension.

The story is serviceable with a slant towards the serious but has no weight to it. Yeah the plot in Return was bog-standard but it still had me invested in it. Here the plot is resolved in a pretty anti-climatic way and I never really felt like anyone was in any danger to begin with. The first half of the movie goes towards building up to the golem battle with a few interesting moments here and there Then the climatic golems battle takes up the rest of the short run time and is just ungodly boring outside of a few decent sight gags. It feels slow and plodding despite being billed as a big exciting battle to decide the fate of the town.

The whole production just doesn't really know where it wants to go trying to keep the moody tones  of Perfect and the more comedic twists of Return. However it just doesn't have a big comedic set piece to make that leap and just sort of coasts by with mediocre humor. Plus the ending just sort of happens with very little accomplished letting the plot be resolved fully in the credits.

The comedy here is really hit and miss lacking the true laugh out loud moments that some of the other movies possess. The first half more relies on the dialogue and putting the one-shot female character through the ringer and it does elicit a chuckle here and there. The second half consist of goofy reaction shots and some decent sight gags that both become stale after the first five minutes. If the kept up the female character's despairing then maybe...no it still wouldn't help the second half. Again nothing truly unfunny but nothing great either.

Lina and Naga as characters are in rare form this movie and it does play up how volatile their relationship actually is and it actually drives a majority of the plot. Too bad this is not a plot worth piloting as they'll have to wait till Gorgeous to do it better. It does play on some more subtle characters traits for Naga such as her talent for golems. The new characters are actually pretty funny with at least one or two good lines and as mentioned the female leads despairing is great. The villains are weird and ineffective but less in a funny look how stupid they are way and more they were never a credible threat to begin with way. They play out like a watered down version of the villains from the Sorcerer of Atlus story albeit lacking a third villain that plays them for chumps.

I am just going to skip being witty and say don't bother with this one. It's not that funny nor that interesting. This was a struggle to talk about and probably a struggle to read. I'll see you next time for probably Slayers Gorgeous or maybe Diabolik Lovers.

Things No One Cares About: Slayers The Hourglass of Falces

Slayers started out as a series of light novels involving Lina Inverse,a short tempered sorceress,Gourry Gabriev,the dim-witted swordsman and a rotating cast of companions. It evolved into a successful anime/manga franchise that is much more well known. I've already discussed the first two movies based on the prequel series,Slayers Special, and I finally got my hands on the last three movies so we'll look at those in more detail in the coming weeks but we're going to talk about something Slayers related I actually did read this week,The Hourglass of Falces.

Slayers manga has always sort have taken a backseat to the novel and anime components of the franchise. The longest part of the manga(Super Explosive Demon Story) only covers the first eight novels in 7 of 8 volumes. The fourth volume being an adaption of Slayers Return. The various manga projects tend to cover various side stories and alternate time lines. Luckily they usually are wrote by Kanzaka himself which at least insures great writing if nothing else.

However like Lina's companions the artist for the manga tends to rotate. You have the Rui Araizumi the Gourry to Kanzaka's Lina who is responsible for the light novels illustrations. Then there is Tommy Ohtsuka that' has drawn the Slayers Special manga,Knights of the Aqualord and a few others. Shoko Yoshinaka who worked on Super Explosive Demon Story and Kanzaka's other big franchise,Lost Universe. However for Hourglass we have yet another artist simply know as Arashi who's only other work is a hentai compilation manga. After reading this manga that fact came as no surprise to me. So enough talking about Slayers lets talk about Slayers.

The story is fairly typical and nothing special,but like most Slayers stories it is more a vehicle for the comedy more than anything. The plot concerns an island that sits between some mystical pillars that can power some weird Groundhog Day style magic. It brings up your typical letting go of the past themes that has been done pretty well elsewhere. It tries to bring up a moral dilemma of letting these people stay stuck in the time loop or actually breaking the spell and ends up coming off as silly in the wrong way.

There is also the problem of it feeling just too long even though it is only four chapters long. Sections are spent on exposition from various characters on happenings that could be summed up in maybe a panel or two. Even more ridiculous is that the last chapter just seems to start mid-battle with little lead up. It is jarring as heck and feels rushed despite the manga taking its' sweet time up to this point.

The plot usually takes a back seat to the jokes though sadly they just aren't able to handle the driving that well. There are a few good jokes but they are few and far between. This is the man who has wrote the excellent Return and Gorgeous,here he is not bringing the A-game. Most of the jokes are meh and the ones that are funny have been done better in another part of the franchise.

So the plot is passed out drunk in the back and the comedy is too short too reach the pedals. Luckily some one gave the characters the map and by god are they trying to salvage this god forsaken road trip.The advantage to having Kanzaka writing is that he knows how to write these characters. Everyone is playing the parts they need to play and their interpersonal relationships are kept intact. This is the first and I believe only project where all of Lina's companions get to team up. For me this is the first exposure I've had to Luke and Millina from the later novels and it just makes me want to read those novels even more if this is how they interact.

As for the original characters for the manga there are three and they are all terrible. The villain is poor mans version of Rezo the Red Priest from the early novels and the women who serves as his motivation is might as well be the patron saint of purity sues. She gets a rushed back story about being a prostitute who never forgot how to love. The other original character Noa is a moe blob that redefines useless. Kanzaka may have unintentionally created the first moe blob style character with Amelia way back in the 90's but she actually has character,spunk and is genuinely funny. Noa has none of that and angst about everything while declaring her own uselessness. She actually wets her self at one point and I'm just embarrassed for her. Her design actually ties in beautifully to the biggest complaint about this book:the art.

If the comedy is the driver and the characters are navigating then the art is the moron attempting to car surf. However he really can't do that well and they have to keep pulling over to pick up the idiot who doesn't look that great after making out with the asphalt. Everyone just looks ugly and off model in the book. Lina and Gourry get off by looking half way decent till they have a reaction then it's straight back to looking ridiculous. Zelgadis looks like Arashi could decide if he wanted to draw Zelgadis or Blackjack and in the end tried combining them. However this is to say nothing of the female characters and the idiocy of what happened there.

Slayers has always had a bit of fanservice here and there with Naga being the notable example. However she is played as more ridiculous and goofy parody of Ms. Fanservice. Here no one except Lina is below a C-cup and they are on full display. Amelia wears a stupid outfit that is supposed to tie into her family's habit of wearing provocative clothing that gives the artist free rein to draw panty shots galore. Noa has as the book calls them "Cow udders" and where a shirt that apparently doesn't button. It just makes the whole story feel cheaper than it all ready is.

In the end this is a really bad Slayers story that fails at almost every turn and is just shameful. It has it's moments but nothing to fully redeem it. Only read this if you really need a Slayers fix and have read everything else possible in the series.
 
Till next time:Stay Positive

Things No One Cares About:Slayers Return

After the success of the first season of Slayers in 1995,we had the not without it's merits Slayers Perfect. A very different beast form the relativity lighter TV adaption that played with tone and atmosphere. A year later and we have the second season known as NEXT and it too had a movie to accompany it:Slayers Return. Like NEXT,Return takes what was a pretty good predecessor and builds a product that blows it out of the water. Everything works,my problems with Perfect are washed away,and it's insanely funny.

Return is almost a pure comedy compared to Perfect and even when things get serious the film is still laughing. It's keeping up Slayers usual schtick of parodying fantasy cliches and anachronisms while taking the piss out of Perfect as well. It takes a one core joke:What if the villains were highly incompetent and runs with it. Admittedly most Slayers villains that aren't major ones use this joke. However here it's taken up to eleven and they really do expand on how bone headed evil can be. Even the super weapon that gets awakened half way through is single minded and stupid. If for nothing else to poke fun at the fantasy genre's high regard for elves as peaceful and wise.

They also have some subtle jabs at hero tropes with only the protagonists being anywhere near competent. The townspeople hold there own against mercenaries,who are slightly competent due to them not being really evil. It takes the main villain doing a face heel turn to make him even close to useful.In the end it even subverts his side switching for a joke. The whole set up leads to quite a few big funny set pieces that I will not spoil but are up there with some of the funniest Slayers moments.

The plot is pretty typical concerning aforementioned super weapon,Naga and Lina's failed attempt to stop it's revival and failing that destroying the beast. It's noting special but most Slayers plots aren't really that ground breaking anyway. The plot is more a backdrop to the comedy and as mentioned above that's where the movie and series in general shine. Perfect took itself a bit more serious and suffered for it with a plot holes. Return keeps the plot simple and benefits greatly for it. I'll admit that it still gives no real explanation for who Naga is and why she's with Lina but even that gets a lampshade hung so it's all good.

This time around editing is much smoother and even gets in on the jokes with some very clever misdirection that leads to a hilarious reveal. The film is shorter and moves at a faster clip which is fine because Perfect did faff about a bit before really getting to the main plot. Gone are random scene ends and replaced with smooth transitions and a much lighter color pallet. It feels more like a Slayers movie,something Perfect didn't quite feel like.

In the end is this movie worth your time:Oh hell yes it is. A vastly improved sequel released alongside a vastly improved second season. Highly recommended for anybody who wants a great comedy. As a side note this is the first of the films to have the author,Hajime Kanzaka, write it. I'd say more on that but that's another review.

Till Next Time:Stay Positive

Things No One Cares about:Slayers Perfect

A couple of years back I finally watched Slayers at the behest of a friend and I was fine with it for the most part. After that I watched season two and was hooked on the series for life. After the abysmal third season I sat down to watch some of the movies,more specifically Slayers Perfect(released stateside as Slayers the Motion Picture) and I was yet again disappointed. The plot was weird,Naga confused me,and it just didn't feel like Slayers to me. I decided to give it a re watch because I like to re affirm my hatred. However I found that I may have been too harsh on the film.

This was the first of the five Slayers films mostly focusing on Lina's adventures before she meets Goury in the main series. Her companion is the ridiculous Naga the Serpent,Lina's self proclaimed rival. She is a butt monkey that could almost rival Goury and excels at creating golems. I tell you these things because the movie explains nothing about her outside of the rivalry. This is sort of the movie's first real problem:explanation. It just sort of drops you into the story with no real explanation of the characters or who they are. Coming from the TV series all your going to be wondering is where the hell is Lina's regular group and why this weird stripper is following Lina around.

Lina also tends to make some weird leaps in logic near the climax of the movie. Normally she is shown weighing her options and deciding what is best. Here she just decides they have to time travel with no indication of why she thinks that. Nor is there any hint from any other character that that is what they need to do. It sort of goes hand in hand with the choppy editing. Scenes just end abruptly with a black screen and poof next scene. It makes the movie feel disjointed up until the third act where the movie finally gets it together for a bit. The third act throws time travel and Goury's ancestor(?). This tends to be a sticking point for some and for a time I was in that camp. However looking back the whole time travel thing sits fine with me and makes sense. Mind you the method to actually time travel is bizarre but I just chalk it up to more bad editing As for the Goury part I just tend to ignore this since it's never brought up after this movie.

That's what the movie did wrong but what did it do right:everything else. Tone wise it's pretty dark for a Slayers movie but it oddly doesn't feel that out of place. The atmosphere matches this and the movie is fairly dark and scary. Events happen that are just plain eerie,very little background music is played and the color pallet is darker to build up the foreboding. The main villain Joyrock is as terrifying as a Slayers villain can be and has almost won by the time the plot has started. Everything just congeals into this mass of terror that even the comedy can't truly break. Don't get me wrong the comedy is great but it's more there to comfort you. It's wonderful in a weird way.

Looking back this movie was no where near the stinker I once thought it was and has a certain charm to it. It's marred by poor editing and some minor plot holes but it's worth looking past for some great atmosphere and comedy bits. Defiantly not the worst of the Slayers movies but we'll get there soon enough.
Till next time:Stay Positive