Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Things No One Cares About:Ramen Fighter Miki

So as I'm sailing along on the ship from last time and tempting fate by whistling the theme song to Gilligan’s Island when a storm of inconvenience comes rolling along to ruin my day. It's at this time that I regret using the boat from Link's Awaking but hey hindsight is 20/20. Anyway I washed up on an island with my clothes ripped conveniently to show off my belly. As I explored the island, I stumbled upon a group of scientists conducting an experiment called Ramen Fighter Miki.

Or...that's what one of them called it, another called it Noodle Fighter Miki, one of them called it The Unbeatable Delivery Girl, and one man that no one liked called it Invincible Poster Girl Miki. So right of the bat I could tell this experiment was run by some bang up guys. Either way this was a weird experiment .

They had set up a replica of a small town shopping district and made it as mundane as possible to, I suppose, see what happens when you populate it with sociopaths. As I sat there with them and watched this go on for about 24 fifteen minute experiments, it occurred to me that the subjects were all total sadists and the only one who wasn't was the little girl. It was like Tom and Jerry was too unrealistic for them and this was the logical fix. Everything was solved with violence that was so over-the-top it was actually kind of funny. Oddly enough after every experiment one of the men left the set. Turns out he was a scientist too, designated to play the straight man and make references to the experiment. He really sucked at that though as he only made those references about three times Though occasionally they brought in one of the others guys to replace him,who was a little too much into super sentai shows.

As we watched I also noticed that the subjects were kept on a diet of sugar and mood uppers to make everyone hyper as all get out. This had the odd side effect of making them all very violent in different ways. However when the woman who had the role of mother was taken off that mix of sugar and meds, she got weirdly introspective and it was really odd. They quickly decided to never do that again and moved on to getting some of the subjects drunk. I also think they put metal plates in everyone's foreheads because one of the subjects threw how dog skewers into various peoples heads with alarming regularity and they didn't seem phased. I was pleased that despite the fact that this group was made of old men none of them were that dirty and the girls weren't flashing panty shots or anything of the sort.

These experiments went on with little in the way of connection to one another and ended on such weird notes that I had to ask these men what the point of these experiments were. They looked at me as if insane and said “To make people laugh and find the best jokes .”

I rebutted by saying that these were jokes only a ten year old would find funny.

They shot back “But of course that's who were targeting not twenty somethings.”

Oh, I said OK that all well and good but can you help me get of this island I'd really like to get back to Senien to see Waiting For Miura . They again looked at me and said kid your not on a island your in Senien and the play you wanted to see did it's final production last week while you were here. So I left through the door embarrassed and headed back home to cry alone and in pain till next Wednesday.

Next Time:Seriously not this again and also Mistress Fortune

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